Stay Beautiful

Greetings! For all of my followers, which is officially two!, it's been a while since the lady herself has written a post due to it being break and all. So I guess I'll start out with a little summary of what I did over break and a bit of a change in my life.

Over Break, I did numerous things. I ate lots of food (probably too much) with all my family, put up the christmas tree, did some 3 am early morning shopping, worked, and hung with my friends, and my well..I guess I now call him my ex-boyfriend. Almost every night, I hung out with my best friend in the entire world Cassie (pictured on the right) we both had super cute matching outfits from our shopping day!and we did so many diffferent things and hung out with different people I feel like I have a new circle of friends. I spent alot of time with my family which was really good, however my younger sisters were quite sick and I tried to avoid much of that.

And a tragedy, or so that's what I prefer to call it, struck on this past Saturday. I've mentioned I've been completely involved with a very nice boy by the name of Jon quite often and lately I had been spending an insufficient amount of time with him. So when Break came rolling around, we started to hang out alot more. I thought this would be so good for our relationship, I really wanted to continue to get to know him and being with him made me the happiest girl ever. The first few days of break we were together NON STOP. We hung out like every day and most nights, and it was bliss. I loved every minute of it and there is honestly nowhere else I thought I'd rather be. Due to it being the holiday, I went to Wisconsin for Turkey Day and Friday I was one of those crazy early morning shoppers and went to work at 3 and didn't get off til 930. Not that big of a deal, we could handle two days without seeing each other right? Well apparently wrong. I asked Jon if he wanted to come over on Friday night, and he refused. I asked him if he wanted to come over on Saturday morning, he refused. I asked him if he wanted to come over Saturday night and you'd never guess it but he refused that too. He had also been extremely short with his text messages and didn't answer my phone calls. Obviously, something was up. So finally he agreed to meet up with me on Saturday night. We went to Coldstone because he knows it's like my favorite ice cream place. I got there a bit early, made sure to look outstandddding, and when he got out of his car I ran to him. Like one of those crazy love movies only no dress. But you know what? I got no response out of him. Not a hey or a hug or a kiss or even a movement of arms, no exchange, he just kept walking in. So I thought to myself: what am I doing wrong? It's whatever. Maybe I was overexaggerating so I just walked in. He wasn't really talking to me in there either and when we finally sat down was the first time I think I'd ever heard him actually talk to me in the last couple days. The first thing he said is this: The reason I have been acting so weird is because...Now I know that sounds pretty bad right? It gets worse. He told me that he feels I am being dishonest with him. My immediate reaction? Put up my defensive wall and tell him that I was not lying to him, had not been lying to him, and didn't plan on lying to him ever. Then, he tells me he's heard so many rumors about me and this alleged boy, something that had happened before I even met Jon at the very beginning of the summer. He said he just didn't want to be lied to anymore. I told him he just needed to trust his girlfriend. And what he said next was quite possibly the worst, rudest, meanest thing I've ever heard in my life. He said this: Correction. You're my ex-girlfriend. Honestly, tell me what you're reaction would be cus I bet it would be quite similar to mine. I wanted to smack that boy upside the head! I burst into tears because I mean what's a girl to do. When the sympathy card really had no effect, I just told him I needed to leave. But before I did that, I asked him if he could look me in the eyes and tell me, without question, that we were done forever. for good. finished. vaneeto. never again and then I would know for sure that this was all real. And he did it. He looked me in the eyes, straight into my blue eyes that used to make his heart melt, and cold and glassy stared, told me we were done forever and that he never wanted us to be together again. I got up at that moment. Carrying my smoothie, I walked to my car and slowly opened the door. I looked back once to give myself a moment of grief and goodbye. I looked at him through that window and instead of wanting to march my booty right back in there, I thanked him silently. The past six months of my life have been true happiness for me. I've been able to love as much as I can and been able to give all of me to the one person that understands and wants exactly me for me and that is something I will always remember. No matter what happens between me and Jon I know that I will always respect and love and care for him because he truly means so much to me. I hope that someday we may meet again and eventually be together but for now, we both need to be free. I sincerely hope Jon still thinks of me, still wonders about me, dreams of me, and hopes for the same things I do. So for now, we may be just friends but that will not change how I feel. I know eventually I'll move on and learn to love someone else the way I loved Jon. No regrets from our relationship and I hope that Jon, wherever life takes him, is happy because that is what he deserves. As for all of you who are going through similar situations, who lost a loved one, who is having relationship problems or bad breaks, just remember: everything will be okay.

Stay Beautiful.