Boys Suck

I'm sure I'm not the only teen girl whose been thoroughly upset with the collection of boys presented in front of her. At my school, there's a rare breed of boys that might actually have something going for them and those boys are usually in a relationship because somebody has been smart enough to snatch them up and make them their own. For me, I'm one of the not-so-lucky girls who waited all this time to find a decent person of the opposite sex to start a relationship with and all too late to do so. I've recently talked about breaking up with a boy from a different school and realized that dating someone from a different school is much too difficult with everything I've got going on in my life so I decided that the searching needed to be done within the Kennedy walls. I began checking out the junior boys of class most of which are either immature, taken, or just plain stupid none of which I can find any remote interest in besides one of the biggest flirts whom I could never take seriously. So then, I moved onto seniors. Of course, we've got lots of seniors some cute, some ugly, some short, some fat, a little bit of everything. A fruit salad, if you ask me. Some seniors are already too college-crazed. Partying all the time, not doing their homework, and acting like they own the school. For those seniors, all I have to say is grow up. Some day they're going to miss this place and want to come back and re-live their senior year, and it's gonna be too late. There's also some seniors who are too full of themselves and the sports they play. Let's get real here: not all girls love a big huge jock whose too cocky to actually care or for that matter, commit and those are ones I try to stay clear of cause I guarantee all they'll do is break my heart. But then again, there's a couple seniors who really have stuff going for them. They're nice and sweet, cute and funny, and involve themselves in schoolwork and athletics never having too much fun but allowing themselves to let loose at times. Now those seniors are my type of people and the type of boy I want to date. I wouldn't say I'm picky when it comes to boys cause I have dated a variety, I just want someone who's gonna treat me right. I've always had a crush on this senior, who shall go unnamed and referred to as "Bob". Bob and I hit it off my freshman year when I dumped my boyfriend and his then best friend. We ended up talking alot and realizing we had alot in common. We began hanging out due to the fact our houses are in close vicinity and we were both "looking for love". Until I found it with someone else and began a two year venture that ended badly. While doing so, Bob found someone else too and has been in a serious relationship since my sophomore year and into the first month of this year until he ended it because he just didn't want to date her anymore. Throughout everything, Bob and I have still kept in touch; talked alot, seen eachother in the halls, texted, and been good friends. I got to know Bob alot more than I ever thought I would and when things were going badly in my relationship, I looked to Bob for comfort. So when my relationship ended and his didn't, I still liked Bob but decided that waiting wasn't my answer. I met Jon and we dated briefly, nothing serious and ended within a month. Bob, however, got out of his serious relationship and has remained single ever since. So you think it'd be the perfect time for me and Bob to hit it off right? Yeah, I thought so too. Bob and I kept talking and began hanging out and it was like nothing had changed. We hadn't really told anyone because it's not anyone else's business but ours. You know how girls are though, me especially, wanting to tell their friends every detail of their life when it comes to boys so of course I had told some of my best girlfriends about it and they were all happy for me. One day, while walking out to my car in the school parking lot, I was stopped by a senior guy whom I'm relatively close friends with. I was texting Bob and he asked me about it and I just told him that Bob and I were possibly trying things out because I maybe sorta kinda had a crush on him (okay yeah, I like him). He seemed happy for me and that was the end of the conversation. Over the past couple weeks, Bob and I have been hanging out alot and it's going really well until this morning. A guy in my first hour class, whose on the basketball team with Bob, confronted me about hanging out with Bob and made fun of me for kissing him. I denied that we were kissing because I mean really, whose business? Not his. But of course, he kept it going. So, I texted Bob letting him know what was happening and just like that: Bob snapped. He started yelling at me for telling people because now all his guy friends were asking him about it and he was getting upset. Then, I preceeded to yell right back. If he liked me, then why did it matter if people knew? It shouldn't. He should be proud to be talking to me. But obviously, that doesn't seem to be the case. Instead, Bob continued to freak and finally just said he doesn't think we should hang out anymore. Seriously? What do you think? Am I crazy mad for being upset at Bob over stupid rumors? Let's be real here. It's so not fair that Bob gets upset over something so little. I guess maybe I've realized Bob doesn't see me the way I thought he did. I mean I know were not dating but I figured with time that would come and that's why I've been okay with just hanging out and talking but not dating. But you know what? Screw it. Bob can go to Hell for all I care. Okay, not literally but come on settle down Bob! If you don't want other people to know then clearly this isn't going anywhere and I want out before it gets too far ahead for me to try and stop liking me. I want some answers Bob and I want them now. I'm done waiting because, as best put by Sam (played by Hilary Duff) in the movie A Cinderella Story ,

"Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in a drought, useless and disappointing!"

So give me an answer. Today. Not tomorrow, not the next day, not next week, not next month, or next year, Now. Because this whole "I like you but.." second grade sh** is getting really old and frankly, I'm not gonna put up with it. For all my boy situations, I've come to one conclusion: BOYS SUCK.

Countdown: 20!

Today, while rummaging through stupid applications and pointless photos on Facebook, I ran into this super long message between my co-ed cheerleading members and I including several inspirational messages, countless reminders, and the best part: a practice countdown to Nationals! Last year was my first year with the Iowa Elite family and my first experience with a national cheerleading competition, taking place in the first couple weeks of March in Disney World, Orlando, Florida. I gave a picture of me in my uniform inside my room with my mickey hat sign! Besides the fact that we got to go to the parks, swim at the hotel, and get super tan, we got to compete at a national level, which is one of the most invigorating and great things I've ever done! I can't begin to recall all the memories from that week that will forever be engraved in my memory. Knowing this, hearing that the National competition of 2010 is approaching quicker than it seems, is absolutely thrilling! The official countdown is 20 practices. It may seem like not alot, but when you practice only twice a week for two hours a piece, it can stretch itself out. While we have three months, we haven't been practicing like it. Alot of the team members, including myself, find little to none motivatio at practices and therefore lack the practice makes perfect attitude. I know that I've been feeling depressed about cheerleading because our routine is very easy to all of us and it sucks knowing that the difficulty level could be so much higher if we actually applied ourselves. I was told that this happened last year. That Co-ed buckled down the last month before Nationals and that didn't add up for them because they placed second. For the super seniors and seniors on our team, this is their last year to win a national championship and on my part I'm going to give it all I've got and make this year the best one yet. With that being said, I've decided to start attending some more tumbling classes every opportunity I get. I know that if I can apply myself, I can make it happen. Before I broke my ankle in the Spring, I practically had my round-off tuck (which for those of who don't know is a tumbling skill requiring a back flip), when I hurt my ankle I lost alot of what I had and still lack some of it today. Recently, I got an ankle brace for my left ankle, which I seem to have some problems persist, and that has seemed to work miracles. The big issue for me is making it to classes due to my busy schedule. Don't get me wrong, my mother has always said; the busier I am the happier I am and to the full extent this is true. When I don't have something going on, I get bored. Being bored is me being lazy and usually requires me eating and being in a bad mood. So I know that while I'm very busy, it's for the best. Tumbling classes do require about an hours worth of time plus a half hour driving time, most of which I lack on weekdays and which I lack on Saturday mornings due to my work schedule. I think I might request a couple Saturday mornings off to be able to go to classes and get myself back into the game. I know that if I get my tumbling skills back, my coaches will be proud, and I will be proud and I can begin to be put in to the tumbling section of our routine. That in itself excites me! But I've realized recently that I don't have all the time in the world. I have three months give or take. Plus we have holiday break coming up, meaning the gym is going to be closed and I'm going to be S.O.L. Over break, I plan on working out alot. I have started going to a gym with my friend Cassie and it's benefited me thus far. I want to improve my health and I want to run alot so that I can be in the best shape possible and more active at practice. I know that being at practice is a mindset. I either wanna be there or I don't. And lately, it's been more of a pessemistic attitude for me, which I know is unfair to my team. So, I'm making an oath. A somewhat early New Year's Resolution for myself that will hopefully benefit my teammates and it is this:

I pledge to make every practice count. I pledge to work my hardest and give it my all everytime. I pledge that the second I walk into the gym, I leave my negative attitude at the door and put on my happy face and go out on the mats and give it my all. I pledge to never let my teammates down and do whatever it takes to hit my stuff. I pledge to start coming to more tumbling classes and to work on stretching and working out at home, instead of just at the gym. But finally and most importantly: I pledge to ROCK IT at Nationals and never forget that every moment spent in that glorious gym, that every drop of sweat I produced, that every second I worked was meant for the day we hit the Nationals floor. I'm gonna sell it, work it, and own it. And we're gonna go out there and show the cheer world Iowa has got more than just corn. They've got cheerleaders. Awesome cheerleaders. National Championship Cheerleaders that own their title and for a reason.

In preparation for the funnest week of my year, I usually do alot of tanning and some last minute shopping for some stuff I just must have down there including lots of yummy food. I have to begin saving up my money and my paychecks so that I can have some sweet spending money for the cheer clothes I ad0re! And, I gotta make a couple bows to encourage myself. It always gets me super pumped up.

So in these last few words before I leave, I wanna give a shout out to my Iowa Elite family. We Rock guys! And first place has come easy for us this far, but not because we've been working as hard as we can. Let's all continue to try our best and make every practice count, because as I stated earlier we've only got 20 left with this amazing dream team. We can do it! We can be the best! We can win a National Championship title! Because we are:

I-O-W-A! IOWA ELITE!

Living With Autism

Yesterday, I began my adventure of babysitting for my Spanish II teacher's kids: Simeon and Micah, both of whom, are autistic. This all began last year when I was a student for Ms. Jauihainen. Spanish has always been a strong subject for me and I really enjoyed having such a great teacher. I feel we really hit it off well and she asked if I could babysit for her. I gave her my number and this fall she called and let me know that they were going to be moving in the winter and that they were getting funding from the state for the autism and that they could pay babysitters very well. Later, in the month of November, she approached me again and asked if I would still be interested and I told her yes. So, she had me come over and meet her children and play with them a bit to see what it was like. Then I had to fill out some paper work and such and she told me she'd call when she needed me. Yesterday morning she called and asked if I'd babysit so that her and her husband Peter could do some Christmas shopping. I had the day off from cheerleading so I told her I would and went to her house. Having only met the kids once and being at the house only once, everything was relatively new to me. When I arrived, the kids were putting marbles down a race track in the living room and Ms. J explained to me some things she wanted me to do with the boys including taking them outside, playing a board game, writing a letter to Santa, making hot chocolate, and feeding them supper. And with that, she was gone. I began by trying to play marbles with them. She told me that the goal was to get them to do many activities instead of just one, because they could easily do just one. So, after twenty minutes I asked if they wanted to go outside but I got a screaming No. I explained to the both of them that we could no longer play marbles because Mommy said, and they decided to ignore me. So, I pretended to not hear them and started putting on my snow stuff and eventually I got them to put theirs on too and come with. They wanted to take buckets of water out with them for some odd reason but they had no explanation. When I asked them about it, I got a mumbled answer and they walked outside. Next thing I knew they were throwing snow all over my car and they were finding it hilarious. I tried to tell them that that was unacceptable and they continued to do it. When we went back inside, they went right back to the marbles and if I tried to get them to do something else they freaked and screamed. They were being very unresponsive and so I finally gave up and went to make supper. They came in and had to rearrange themselves to be in their "own spots" as they called them and in the middle of supper they got up and turned on all of their Christmas lights. After a little more playing, Ms. J and Peter came home and after some small talk they asked overall how it went and I explained to them some of the concerns I had. Ms. J ended up printing me off some info. about autism that she suggest I read so that I'd understand it better and with that (and a check for $70) I left.

I didn't intend to read all of the information she gave me. After all, it's like fifteen pages full text but I started reading last night and haven't been able to put down. Autism is mainly genetic and symptoms begin in the first two years of life. Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction and communication. Most children have trouble developing social skills and that's why Simeon was being very unresponsive. Autistic infants show less attention to social stimuli, smile and look at others less often, and respond less to their own name. Autistic toddlers differ more strikingly from social norms; for example, they have less eye contact and turn taking, and are more likely to communicate by manipulating another person's hand. Three to five-year-old autistic children are less likely to exhibit social understanding, approach others spontaneously, imitate and respond to emotions, communicate nonverbally, and take turns with others. However, they do form attachments to their primary caregivers. A big symptom for autistic children is repetitive action, which explains why the boys played with the marbles continually, putting all of them down the track and then picking them up and doing them all over. Autistic children usually have to stick to a very precise and unchanging routine that's very specific, and if it were to ever get off track you'd get a temper tantrum, which explains why the boys had to get up and turn on all the Christmas lights precisely at 5:00. And finally, autistic children generally have trouble with emotions. Because they are deficit in communication, they often don't understand when people are happy, upset, sad, mad, angry, etc. because they don't pick up on facial cues. Like when I told the boys to stop throwing snow on my car they didn't understand that I was angry because they didn't understand that my face was portraying that I was angry and that the tone of my voice was telling them how I felt. Both Simeon and Micah work one on one with special education teachers at school and with speech therapists outside of school. They're both beautiful, growing, and healthy boys that are quite smart in fact. They both can fluently read, name all the types of plants in their garden, name all the nutrients and vitamins and what foods contain what, and what types of ingredients are generally unhealthy. They pick up on odd things that many of us don't and that's what makes them so unique. I'm going to continue babysitting for Ms. J and I can't wait to start helping the boys. Autism effects a select number of people, 1-2% of every 1,000 kids in the world, but four times as many males as females. While Simeon and Micah will never fully live on their own, they are good human beings. And they will live a great life, as any normal person.

For more information about Autism; visit:
http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer

New Do Inspires

I've never been fully confident with myself. I've always found something I didn't like, want to change, or can try and improve about my physical appearance. After the recent break up with my boyfriend, I've thought down about myself thinking something MUST be wrong with the way I look if he dumped me. So, this past snow day I dyed my hair from blonde to mahagony brown. I guess you could say it was more than a small change; it was drastic. It took alot of courage and some definite getting used to but overall I really like it. It's helped me become more confident with myself and other people have noticed it too. I want to say that it's an improvement but yet again I find myself doubting. By dying my hair I realized, it's not all about my outer apperance, it's what's on the inside that counts even more. Maybe he broke up with me because of my personality: my stupid jokes, my weird laugh, my sense of humor, my gullability, my silliness. The attributes that make up my own character. He must not like them and up until these past few moments I've thought that I could change to become the person he wanted and needed me to be. I've realized that it shouldn't matter what my physical appearance is and if he doesn't like my inner appearance then so what? I will find someone who can appreciate the weird things about me that make me who I am. I shouldn't have to change who I am for someone who doesn't understand me. I can't believe it has taken me this long to realize it but living in the materialistic world I do where I am constantly judged by what I wear, what I do with my hair, how I walk, how I talk, where I'm from, where I live, what kind of car I drive, everything has formed me into a person I don't even recognize anymore. I used to think that there was always something more that I could do with my life, volunteering was my way. I used to think there was always something more that I could do about my grades, so I started coming in for extra help and got them raised. And I used to think that there was always something more that I could do for my family, so I started helping more around the house. None of those things have been evident in my life these past few months and I feel I've lost sight of who I truly am. Dying my hair reminded me that it's not all about who I want to be or want to look like but about who I am and that I look like myself. Changing my hair doesn't alter the human being I am it only makes my appearance different and new. It has inspired me to become the human I once was and to take every change and accept it for what it is and to make the most of it. To grow from it, to learn from it, and to become better from it. As quoted by Batman101...

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.”

See the beauty in change and embrace it. Don't accept normality. Be abnormal, be different, be you because no one can make it work the way you do. If changing your outer appearance makes you feel bettter, then do it! For one time in your life, it's all about you. Make it count. Carpe diem! Seize the Day! Make every moment worthwhile and make every change, be it big or small, count.

Let It Snow

'Ode to Snow Days! It's finally here! The very first one of my junior year! I can't tell you how exciting it was, to wake up in the morning to 12 text messages wishing me a good first one! And I knew that they meant Snow Day and put my head back down and fell asleep. I just woke up now, it's nearly 8 o'clock. I would usually be at school, sitting in AP US History, listening to Mr. B tell some lame women joke. Least to say; I'm happy to be home. For my day today, I plan on catching up on some homework, catching up on sleep, and catching up on some sledding. We have a couple huge hills in our neighborhood and a couple of friends are coming over while the roads are still okay and we're just going to have some fun in the snow. I told you before that I have a couple four wheelers and I live right by a huge park where we're going to take them, attaching sleds on the back and dragging people along. Besides the fact that it's a Snow Day and I'm home, I'd also like to point out how beautiful the environment looks today. The snow glistening on the ground, slowly falling, and reflecting in the midst of the day is one of the most breath-taking sights. I love standing outside in this weather and taking in a view. I also love taking photos. The trees look immaculate and snowing this much truly puts me in the Holiday Spirit. That and the fact that my mother has the Christmas Music cranked up, the ornaments out for us to decorate the tree, and ingredients for cookie making. Our fire is crackling and popping all season long and the warmth smells our house with a smoky aroma and makes me tingle when I sit by it. Nothing is more enjoyable than curling up by the fire with a blanket and a good book. I always catch up on some good books because it passes the time. The snow is a symbol for me; it represents the coming of my favorite time and holiday of the year: Christmas. I love the season of giving and receiving, huge family get togethers, and the ridiculous Christmas games that you know you always play. In our family, we have several traditions this time of year, including community service. For those who are less fortunate this time is usually the roughest. It is the least we can all do to help them out. Every year, I ring the bell for the Salvation Army and use some of my Christmas money to purchase gifts for the homeless. Every kid deserves a present to open Christmas morning, after all Santa never leaves out anyone. Moving on; another huge tradition is that I write the family Christmas letter. This is where I catch everyone up on what's going on in my family members lives and provide a cheesy family photo, which are always the worst of me. The one that I provided is from fifth or sixth grade and as you can tell I'm not a necessarily photogenic person to say the least. But now I've realized this post is becoming a rambling piece and I must go and carpe diem! Chao!

Prelude to My Favorite Days of the Year

I call this a prelude for two reasons: one because this is simply an introduction to what I call the best days of the year because just one post wouldn't be enough to describe my feelings and two because I feel with my favorite days comes certain advantages that I hope to achieve on my day off. I think I hinted at it a bit for you there and if you don't know it yet, I'll tell you now that without question my favorite days of the year are Snow Days. Why? Well I think the better question is why not? Snow Days are always welcomed in my world and hold several advantages that I hope you'll be able to see.

The first advantage is this: Snow Days can mess up a teachers planned events so that they become discombobulated (spelling?) and unaware of what they should do and this often works out to the students advantage because they push back quizzes, tests, and homework assignments. The day off screws up their teaching schedule and they know that kids don't spend their day studying for a test when they'll simply give the excuse that they "didn't know we still had it today." Lately I've been hearing alot of talks from each of my teachers on their policies with Snow Days so they're getting better at it but chances are if you get the entire class to go along with a sob story that you didn't know and therefore aren't prepared you can get things put off and make less work for yourself.

The second advantage is this: You get to sleep in! If your schedule is anything like mine your probably up until ungodly hours of the night doing homework or busy with some type of practice or game. Having such a busy schedule, it is easy to get behind in class work and more importantly, you rack up a lot of sleep debt. I know that in my case I usually get 5-7 hours of sleep each night which is quite inadequate considering the recommended amount is 8-10 hours. With Snow Days you usually can anticipate when they're going to happen and therefore shut off your alarm the night before. I have my mother wake me up only if there's an offchance we have school at regular time. Even if we have a two hour delay, I give myself two extra hours of sleep. Why not take advantage? It's good to catch up on some ZZZZZ's.

The third advantage is this: You get to hang with neighbors. Some people are less fortunate than I and aren't surrounded by children in their neighborhood and instead by elderly couples who don't like loud music. Sucks for you guys. Me, I'm surrounded by some pretty cool kids that definitely know how to kick it. On Snow Days we all get together and have snow ball fights, ride my four wheelers, sled, and just have a good time being kids. Sometimes it's fun to act like a little kid; sticking out your tongue and catching snow flakes. I love the image of falling snow, it's something quite breath taking.

The fourth and final advantage is this: You get to do all the homework you didn't do PLUS work ahead. I know it may sound nerdy to work on school work when there's no school but it's gotta get done sometime and if you're snowed in it's best to do something with your day a little more productive then strictly sleeping.

I've stated several reasons why I love Snow Days and I'm sure if there were more time in my day I could give you several more. Snow Days are a good break in the week for me and help lighten the fact that I'm still in school until Summer. They give me a reason to like the crazy driving conditions, the hectic shoppers I experience at work, and the somewhat too cheerful relatives that can't get enough of the Holiday spirit. A Snow Day a week=A Happy Kiona!:)

For tips on how to have a real snow ball fight on your Snow Day; visit:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WqYu-Q-tHG4

Undeated!

Today, was another eventful day for the Iowa Elite family. We traveled up to Ankeny, Iowa (a little north of Des Moines) to compete in the 7th annual Winterfest Cheerleading competition, hosted by our friends: Iowa All Stars. A large family of cheerleaders in the Des Moines area, much like Iowa Elite here in Cedar Rapids. Each of our teams competed against the other Iowa All Star teams and other close to home teams in a battle for trophies and titles. We arrived at noon, which first off I think is ridiculous considering we didn't perform until 4:10 but we had to be early to watch our other younger teams compete. After all of this, we warmed up and competed our routine against ourselves. We had no one in our division so obviously it made the competition less stressful for all until our head Coach and founder of Iowa Elite Cheer Inc; Todd told us that if we didn't win the "Judge's Cup" we were going to run five miles at practice on Wednesday. Usually, I'd say he was kidding but this time he was dead serious. We have been slacking lately I'll admit and we haven't been trying half as hard as we could be at practice, as a result our routine is continually getting sloppier and less attractive to the naked cheer watcher eye. The adrenaline we get when competing is about the only thing that has been keeping our team afloat, and I really hope that that changes in the near future or were dead when we get to March and down to Florida for Cheer Nationals. Anyways, we all were really upset because our warm ups weren't well and our performance (we were told by our coaches) was average and not to the best of our ability, which is not in our favor. The judge's cup is what we had to win and this is based off the routine the judge's believe the participants performed to the best of their ability. The routine with the most pizazz and the one that caught their eye the most. Last year, when I was on All Girl Senior, we took that home and believe me, Co-Ed was absolutely pissed off at us. Again this year, All Girl did exceptionally well and we all thought they were a shoo in for the judge's cup. We got nervous when award time came around but excited for our teams because we knew one of them would get it, unless an Iowa All Star team somehow did. Enough with rambling though, point blank: WE GOT IT. We took home that beautiful trophy, the title, and our pride of yet again being the best. So far this season, Iowa Elite Senior Co-Ed has gotten first at every single competition we have competed at and Grand Champs of all of it. It's been amazing and this season has truly been a gift. I know that at times we get down on ourselves for not being as good as we can be, but I am proud of every single one of my teammates who show everyone how it's done and done well. I'm so thankful to be a part of a championship undefeated team that will continue to win and lead ourselves into National Champions. Next weekend, we compete in Des Moines again for the National Qualifying competition where we get our chance at strutting our stuff for a bid to Nationals in March and I hope all goes well. As for practice on Wednesday, well at least we don't have to run those five miles. Buuut we do have to improve alot if we want to win it. I think we can do it. No; I know we can do it! Undefeated and that's how we will stay!!

IOWA ELITE SENIOR CO-ED LEVEL 3 TEAM 2009-2010 :):)

Oh Joanne

Have you ever volunteered? Served your community? Worked for no pay? It's a rewarding experience for me and that's why I try to as much as I can. It sends tingles through my spine and knowing that I helped make someone else's life, less fortunate than mine, better is the best gift I can recieve. Knowing how I feel about volunteering, a couple summers ago my mom re-contacted one of her good friends to get together for lunch. Little did we both know, she was now the head volunteer coordinator for one of our local hospitals: St. Luke's. As they caught up my mom talked about all of her children, including me. You see, that summer I had went and job-shadowed my aunt. She's a pediatrician and that's when I made the initial decision to become a pediatrician when I grow up. Upon hearing this, my mother's friend Angela told her about her job position and how many high school students became volunteers for the hospital in order to prepare for the pre med field in college. So, I decided what the heck I have some extra time on my hands with it being summer, why don't I volunteer? So I started. First, I had to go through an interview, a flu and TB shot, and some paperwork and began training at the Emergency Department Desk with a volunteer of 25 years, Joanne. She had been working the shift that I was going to start for about 20 years and had built up many memories. While she trained me; she told me alot of her memories about the amazing people she's met, the lives she's touched, and the fun she's had while doing so. Many of her closest friends were volunteers and she never regretted a moment of her life at this desk. Seeing Joanne as happy as she was made me want to volunteer for the rest of my life. I have volunteered at the hospital over 200 hours so far and someday hope that becomes 2,000. I continue to work at the Emergency Department desk checking in patients, cleaning the waiting room, and making sure patients have a drink, a blanket, or a bag if need be.



At times when I feel stressed out with my life, I know that the moment I walk into the volunteer corridor of the hospital I feel welcomed. It's like their my second family and they are the nicest people you have ever met in your life. They always know what to say to make me feel better and being behind the emergency desk, helping patients and serving a greater good relieves alot of the stress I walk in the building with. I have really enjoyed volunteering over the years and hope to continue doing so. Someday, I want to be Joanne. A volunteer veteran. A true good soul with an amazing heart that cares for others. She is inspiring to me and those who surround her and I hope she knows this.

No matter how busy your life may be, there's always time to be a volunteer. Check out your local pantry, Salvation Army, American Redcross, or any other organization and get involved. Even if it takes a couple minutes of every week, do something for others. Make it a New Years resolution to volunteer once a week every week of the year, it will do wonders.

To learn more about volunteering at St. Luke's Hospital; visit:

http://www.stlukescr.org/body.cfm?id=74

Stay Beautiful

Greetings! For all of my followers, which is officially two!, it's been a while since the lady herself has written a post due to it being break and all. So I guess I'll start out with a little summary of what I did over break and a bit of a change in my life.

Over Break, I did numerous things. I ate lots of food (probably too much) with all my family, put up the christmas tree, did some 3 am early morning shopping, worked, and hung with my friends, and my well..I guess I now call him my ex-boyfriend. Almost every night, I hung out with my best friend in the entire world Cassie (pictured on the right) we both had super cute matching outfits from our shopping day!and we did so many diffferent things and hung out with different people I feel like I have a new circle of friends. I spent alot of time with my family which was really good, however my younger sisters were quite sick and I tried to avoid much of that.

And a tragedy, or so that's what I prefer to call it, struck on this past Saturday. I've mentioned I've been completely involved with a very nice boy by the name of Jon quite often and lately I had been spending an insufficient amount of time with him. So when Break came rolling around, we started to hang out alot more. I thought this would be so good for our relationship, I really wanted to continue to get to know him and being with him made me the happiest girl ever. The first few days of break we were together NON STOP. We hung out like every day and most nights, and it was bliss. I loved every minute of it and there is honestly nowhere else I thought I'd rather be. Due to it being the holiday, I went to Wisconsin for Turkey Day and Friday I was one of those crazy early morning shoppers and went to work at 3 and didn't get off til 930. Not that big of a deal, we could handle two days without seeing each other right? Well apparently wrong. I asked Jon if he wanted to come over on Friday night, and he refused. I asked him if he wanted to come over on Saturday morning, he refused. I asked him if he wanted to come over Saturday night and you'd never guess it but he refused that too. He had also been extremely short with his text messages and didn't answer my phone calls. Obviously, something was up. So finally he agreed to meet up with me on Saturday night. We went to Coldstone because he knows it's like my favorite ice cream place. I got there a bit early, made sure to look outstandddding, and when he got out of his car I ran to him. Like one of those crazy love movies only no dress. But you know what? I got no response out of him. Not a hey or a hug or a kiss or even a movement of arms, no exchange, he just kept walking in. So I thought to myself: what am I doing wrong? It's whatever. Maybe I was overexaggerating so I just walked in. He wasn't really talking to me in there either and when we finally sat down was the first time I think I'd ever heard him actually talk to me in the last couple days. The first thing he said is this: The reason I have been acting so weird is because...Now I know that sounds pretty bad right? It gets worse. He told me that he feels I am being dishonest with him. My immediate reaction? Put up my defensive wall and tell him that I was not lying to him, had not been lying to him, and didn't plan on lying to him ever. Then, he tells me he's heard so many rumors about me and this alleged boy, something that had happened before I even met Jon at the very beginning of the summer. He said he just didn't want to be lied to anymore. I told him he just needed to trust his girlfriend. And what he said next was quite possibly the worst, rudest, meanest thing I've ever heard in my life. He said this: Correction. You're my ex-girlfriend. Honestly, tell me what you're reaction would be cus I bet it would be quite similar to mine. I wanted to smack that boy upside the head! I burst into tears because I mean what's a girl to do. When the sympathy card really had no effect, I just told him I needed to leave. But before I did that, I asked him if he could look me in the eyes and tell me, without question, that we were done forever. for good. finished. vaneeto. never again and then I would know for sure that this was all real. And he did it. He looked me in the eyes, straight into my blue eyes that used to make his heart melt, and cold and glassy stared, told me we were done forever and that he never wanted us to be together again. I got up at that moment. Carrying my smoothie, I walked to my car and slowly opened the door. I looked back once to give myself a moment of grief and goodbye. I looked at him through that window and instead of wanting to march my booty right back in there, I thanked him silently. The past six months of my life have been true happiness for me. I've been able to love as much as I can and been able to give all of me to the one person that understands and wants exactly me for me and that is something I will always remember. No matter what happens between me and Jon I know that I will always respect and love and care for him because he truly means so much to me. I hope that someday we may meet again and eventually be together but for now, we both need to be free. I sincerely hope Jon still thinks of me, still wonders about me, dreams of me, and hopes for the same things I do. So for now, we may be just friends but that will not change how I feel. I know eventually I'll move on and learn to love someone else the way I loved Jon. No regrets from our relationship and I hope that Jon, wherever life takes him, is happy because that is what he deserves. As for all of you who are going through similar situations, who lost a loved one, who is having relationship problems or bad breaks, just remember: everything will be okay.

Stay Beautiful.

Battle for the BEHEMOTH

This Sunday, was the biggest competition for us thus far this year simply because it was our own and it was the most creative, most fun, and most challenging yet. BATTLE FOR THE BEHEMOTH. Just the name makes you curious right? Well, this is our second annual Iowa elite hosted competition taking place at Jefferson High School in which teams battle it out for the six foot grand champion trophy. It's huge! Last year, we gave it out to our rivals Iowa All Stars but this year we were determined to make it ours. For this competition, we got to straighten our hair which is awesome because it takes less time and is easier and I sincerely hope we decide to keep it this way for the rest of the year. We had recently learned a new cheer in which I was part of a stunt group and we decided to put it in for the competition. I missed practice on Wednesday because of our playoff game against Bettendorf and so I hadn't practiced it much. That being said, I was a bit nervous for the competition. Also because this was the first competition my new boyfriend came to and I didn't want to not impress him, but he later told me he was very impressed. When we warmed up it was a bit shaky, so that made me even more scared but of course, as always ,the second we step onto that mat we're rushed with adrenaline and pull through to perfection! Everything went perfectly and we truly battled and earned our way to the top. At the time of awards, we took first place and beat out rivalry Iowa All Stars but it was up to the judges to decide the fate of the large trophy and guess what? WE WON IT :) We were the grand champs of our competition, finally. It felt sooo good and the team all bonded together. Afterwards, me and a couple of the girls from my old All girl team (also Iowa Elite) went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse, where I've never been, and I experienced heaven for brief moments. Have you ever had their rolls with cinnamon butter? Perhaps, they are the best bread I have ever tasted in my life with the best combination dip of cinnamon butter. It was awesome and I plan on going there for my dinner birthday. I wish I could write more about my experiences for the day, but homework is calling my name.

In Maturing..

It's my junior year of high school and I can't wait to get out! I know when I'm much older and more mature with my life I'll look back on my high school years and miss them dearly but right now its as if high school will never end! Sure, having friends and living life is great but the homework is about as much as I can bare. I don't like it all and I just want to live on my own. I love my family dearly but sometimes they drive me up the wall and I really need some personal space. With that in mind, I cannot stop thinking about COLLEGE :):):) I'm so excited because in just two years I'll be living it up having the time of my life and starting out my career in medicine. Sounds simple enough right? Ha I wish. Now you may think I'm a bit college crazed for thinking about it this far away but with my boyfriend being a senior and going off to college just next year I've begun thinking about college too. Plus, I have a ton of friends that are seniors that go to my school and it seems like the end of the year is all that's on their mind. They've been through plenty standardized tests, essays, and applications and many of them are still in the application process and as much as they don't like it, they're gonna be really excited! Recently, I wrote an essay for my AP Lang class in which I talked about my most embarrassing moment in front of all the seniors as a freshman. It was only then I realized I'm gonna be a senior next year. One more year, and I will finally be at the top of the food chain. I can sit on the senior bench, I can yell my heart out at basketball and football games, I can tell stupid freshman to move out of the way, and I can leave class early simply because I'm a senior. When I think about it, senior year really ISN'T going to be a breeze for me. I take a rigorous course load this year, with three college level courses, and next year I will be taking five. I think I've developed a good method of note taking and studying that will benefit me in college. And something new that I've just tried this year has really been working for me and that is: listening to classical music while I do my homework. It has helped me retain alot of information and therefore do better on my tests and I plan to stick with this for a while. Since I'm all in the College mood, I guess I'd better talk how I got to wear I am and how I plan on getting where I want to go. As a sixth grader, I began involving myself in as many activities as possible. Sports, academics, clubs, retreats, you name it I did it. I kept myself busy throughout all of my middle school years and practically ran the school my eighth grade year, being best friends with all of the counselors and having a close relationship with my principal. I was praised for lots of things, for my leadership, my grades, my willingness to learn, my involvement, everything I never thought it'd be different in high school but guess what? It was. Not only was I not as involved, but my grades were not as high as I had hoped. Sure, I still got A's but it was harder. I actually had to WORK for them and it sucked because I really wasn't used to it. I got better at studying, better at work ethic, and better at keeping up with my school work and allowed myself some time for school cheerleading. But I'll admit: I was lazy. I rarely ever did anything, always came home right after school, and never really had as big of an involvement in my school and take shame in that. My sophomore year I started becoming more involved. I did more clubs, despite the fact that I was scared I wouldn't fit in or laughed at, but did them anyways and actually made some great friends from it. I took some harder classes that year, and even was involved in Student Government and I did something more with my time. I began volunteering at the hospital and joined a competitive cheerleading team. I've realized one thing: I'm happier when I'm busier. When I'm bored, I generally eat. I know, it's a bad habit but it's what I do because I can't ever decide something meaningful to do. Now that I'm more involved, I do less of being bored, and more of being involved. My junior year has gone pretty well thus far. It's great being on the Varsity cheerleading team and cheering at the big games and taking hard classes I know will benefit me in the long run. I hope to do more things with my high school career and see where that I will take me. I plan on attending the University of Iowa and studying to become a pediatrician and help kids around the world. I don't know where I want to live, but I know I will want to be relatively close to my family. As for now, I'm just living my life as best I can and doing what I think is right. I'm becoming more mature, more of an adult ,and for me that is making me a truly happy girl.

In Preparation

So, this weekend we have a cheerleading competition: AGAIN. I know, I know, they're becoming back to back but after this one we don't have one til December 5th I do believe and I'm pretty pumped about the little break because lately practices have been up the wall hard! We've had to do like a million run throughs and tons of conditioning at each. Run throughs, by the way, are like competing five times in a row. You do everything in the routine full out: jumps, stunts, tumbling, cheer, and dance and its all to your routine music only you don't have your uniform on or your hair done. And, you have to do it repetitively. It's quite the work out if I do say so myself and that is why I generally wear shorts and t shirts to practice. I'm bringing this up because it's getting close to Winter and its been pretty chilly and I've been parading around in shorts. Why? Because they'r e comfy, they're easy to put on, and they allow my legs some breathing room as opposed to tight jeans. I have generally warm blood I think too, because I find myself always chilling out in shorts whether it be rain or shine. Anyways, this competition this week is specifically for Iowa Elite to show case our what I call, greatness! This competition is hosted by us at Jefferson High School and it's called "Battle for the Behemoth." Sounds pretty ancient right? It's this awesome, crazy competition we have and grand champs get a 6 FOOT TROPHY! It's massive and last year we didn't even get to take it home, our competitors Iowa All Stars did. This year, it's time to show 'em whose boss. All seven of our Iowa Elite teams are competing and there will be plenty of competition there. It sucks though because we will be performing on dead floor as opposed to spring floor. This basically means that were competing on mats without springs underneath them which is a standard cheerleading floor and it takes alot more out of you. It'll be okay though. The only thing I'm worried about is our new cheer. Today, we revamped our cheer to make it harder and more appealing to the eye. In the middle there is a stunt that I'm involved in with a girl who is not used to being the flyer (person in the air) and so she's not as good as she necessarily could be. Because of this, we had to practice it a bunch of times and we still didn't get it to perfection by the end of practice and I can't even go to practice on Wednesday because we have a football game in Bettendorf. I'm not that utterly thrilled over having to drive a couple hours to a football game we may quite possibly lose for a team that has none the less not impressed me this entire season. It's hard to cheer on guys who don't have the guts or the spirit that they should. The sad thing is we could be good this year if we really set out to do so, but our heads are in the wrong place and we just can't improve. It's whatever, football cheerleading is almost over and then I'll have plenty of time on my hands, before basketball season cheerleading starts that is. But anyways, for this particular competition we get to straighten our hair and that is a definite delicacy for us because usually we have to curl it. The advantage and difference: straightening your hair takes less time (almost an hour difference) and it looks cleaner and better. Everybody on our team agrees it will be much easier and our coach said if it looks nice enough than we can start doing it that way for the rest of the season. YAAY! One thing about the competition is that it's at my boyfriends school so its basically a requirement that he comes! I'm pretty pumped you see were kind of a new couple and I'm really nervous about performing in front of him. Stupid I know but you can't blame a girl for wanting to impress. We also get awesome t shirts for this competition and we have the ice cream truck coming, along with a bouncy cage! Technically it's for the little kids, but the bigger ones definitely get a kick out of it too. So my feelings are pretty good about this competition. I'm a little nervous for the performance but the day should be pretty fun! Plus it's on Sunday so we get to miss out on a practice. YAHOO :)

More Meds Please!

As we all know, Flu season is in full swing and whether it be the seasonal flu or god forbid must I say, swine flu we must stay protected by whatever means necessary. The biggest and best solution to prevent us all from getting sick is by getting a vaccination. A vaccination is like giving us a dose of the actual disease so that our immune systems can react to it and help fight it off. By having it once, we therefore are less susceptible to getting the disease, if ever again. There has been recent news about shortage in swine flu vaccinations, which is true. All over the world, people are getting sick faster then the rate of vaccinations being passed out. It's unfair for younger children, ranging from age 6 months to 24 years, which are the most likely to catch it. Last weekend, at the Iowa State Fair, there were over 2000 vaccinations given out in less then four hours to kids who came. But dosages like these don't come all the time. On this morning's edition of the news, it stated that over 900 people have died from the flu, 43 of them being children. It's like a pandemic and eventually it will sweep the nation. Family doctors have been getting small dosages and they often charge a hefty package for one because they're so limited. Pediatricians must be having a hard time! A good feature though, is that they're beginning to have clinics for people so that they can all come and get vaccinated. But we still need more medicine! So get on it government! The vaccination is the smartest idea for parents who don't want their kids missing school. That's another bad thing about flu season. Being sick for the first two days of school this week I realized just how hard it is to miss a day. To miss a day of school, with my schedule, is like missing a week at work. There was so much make-up work for me to do I'm still getting caught up now and trust me, it's not easy. For so many other students, I can only imagine. Those that have been sick for a week or so must be literally swamped! Plus, teachers have got to be feeling the heat. In some of my classes, up to 10 people are gone everyday, trying to teach something new is somewhat stupid because you're going to have to teach all the sick people when they get back anyways. For me, these past couple days back at school have been relatively easy simply because alot of the teachers refuse to learn new and instead give us work time to re-learn or further explore the old and I'm A-okay with that. There's a huge defining factor of swine flu and it is this: you will be sick for a couple days (bad days) and then be okay for a couple days (good days) and then you go BACK to having bad days and become sick all over again! That's what I fear most about this whole thing. I'd prefer to stay healthy. My best advice for doing so: drink lots of fluids. Water is best, and things with Vitamin C like orange juice for coughs. Take some ibuprofen for headaches, cough drops for your cold, and wash your hands or use hand sanitizer alot. And STAY AWAY FROM THE SICKIES! This thing is pretty contagious so be careful, you know your boundaries and if your feeling sick: please stay home. Feel better soon world!!

Swine is Mine

So this weekend has been quite eventful. As I told you, we had a cheerleading competition in Peoria, Illinois this weekend for my competitive cheerleading team Iowa Elite. This is one of the biggest competitions that we go to and let me tell you, it sure was big. First off, I'll tell you a little history of my week so you'll know exactly what I'm feeling like. Wednesday I had the PSAT at the KTOS center and it was relatively easy. I got back to school for the last two classes and had a ton of make up work. Then, I had practice that night and I was not feeling like working out for two hours but I did so anyways. On Thursday, I had to go to sign making after school til six and then come home and get ready to go out to dinner with my, well, as of Thursday, my boyfriend. It was his birthday and so of course I had to look nice so I didn't spend any time on my homework until I got home at 10. I was up until midnight or so and then couldn't fall asleep and had to wake up at 6 to go in for extra help with my chemistry teacher. Then, I had a game Friday night and was up until 11:30 and had to wake up at four so my mother could curl my hair for the competition. I had officially hit rock bottom and I was not excited at all to be going to the gym to lie on an uncomfortable bus full of loud cheerleaders. Least to say, I got no sleep what so ever. When we got there, we immediately stretched, warmed up, and then we performed and were done by 11. We waited maybe twenty minutes til they started awards and guess what? WE TOOK FIRST :):):) All my icky feelings of getting up early, running low on sleep, and not having good food to eat went away temporarily but now was the hard part. We had competed in Session 1 of the competition and there was still 3 left that we had to sit through before our youth team came and performed and we had to be there until their awards at six. By the way, our all girl team which competed in Session 1 also was originally announced as third place but the judges so wrongfully switched first and third and instead all girl got FIRST PLACE ALSO!! Our coaches were so happy the rest of the day and our youth team placed 3rd out of 14 so it was a really good day!!! Anyways, we sat in the stands for a couple hours, unable to move, unable to talk, just wanting to go home. It was good team bonding I'd say and then we all went to the warm-up gym and that's where things went wrong. H1N1 has been going around this country like wild fire and recently five girls on our team were diagnosed. Because the competition was so big they refused to miss it and came and guess what? They were exposed to ALL of us ALL day. Everyone on the team is officially sick with something. I have a temperature of 103 and a horrible cough and worse, my body is so sore. All the symptoms of swine flu. You know I really don't feel like missing school for a week because I know that the make up work would be unbearable but at the same time I need to get better. You know this feels worse than the flu, I feel like I can't breathe and I've been stuck in my house all day. I've caught up on watching some really good movies and this may be good for weight loss cause I haven't eaten since yesterday at noon. I know for sure I wont be going to school tomorrow (ugh) and probably not Tuesday either. I hope to God that it doesn't get to the point where I have to go to the hospital but if it does I'd be sure to let you know. As for now, I'm gonna go take some ibuprofen (which I have been on for the last 24 hours) and try to get some sleep. My electric blanket really comes in handy right now cause I have the worst case of the chills. As for the Swine flu here are the symptoms: fever, headache, cough, trouble breathing, and body aches. Check, check, check, check, and CHECK!

So Bright!

In my future, I hope to become a pediatrician. What is that might you ask? Well, it's a doctor that deals specifically with kids. I have always had close relationships with my two youngest siblings since the day they were born. Like a protective mother, I protect them with my life. I am careful with them and I treat them as if they were my own kids. I always held them when they cried, laughed with them, and tried to make their cute little faces smile because to me, that means the world. I know that helping kids is something that I want to do because I love them. I have had so much experience with babysitting that it seems inevitable. I know that medical school is going to be tough, but I have a very good work ethic. I work hard in school to get good grades and I work hard in my household to help improve my family. I know that I want to make something of myself, I want to change someone's life, and if I can make just one kids day better, I will know that I have been successful. Now that you know what I want to do with my life, I guess I better tell you how I plan to get there. Pediatrics is not an easy road by ANY means. You have to go to college and THEN go to medical school THEN residency and THEN you can either get a job or try and make it on your own. I plan to attend the University of Iowa for my first four years, and possibly go to Minnesota for my medical years, I want to do my residency at a big name hospital there because they are one of the largest hospitals in the United States and therefore I would get a lot of good experience. As much as I love Cedar Rapids, I don't know if I want to stay here for the rest of my life. My family has lived here since the day I was born, I've grown up here, but I've also experienced homely feelings in other states, in other towns, in other cities, and I know that someday I will get along just fine in whatever environment or place I choose to live. Kids really do make the world go round, without the previous generations how would we have progressed to the one were currently living in? I hope to continue the legacy that our ancestors have created for us, and start new generations for the world to come so that I know when I die, the future of the world is very bright.

No More Chances

I thought I'd start out my next post in the right direction, preferably talking about my future aspirations of being a pediatrician, my college goals, my field of interest, and the newest medical technology. Instead, I've decided to talk, yet again, about my father simply because today I receieved four more calls, 2 voicemails, and 11 texts. Let me explain..

So last night my dad called me about twice and left me a voicemail asking me to please call him back and that he loved me, of course I had no intentions of responding. He called once more last night and once again this morning. I didn't answer. Then while I was at work he texted me asking if I was working, I decided (for the pure hell of it) to respond and our text conversation went on like this:

Me: yes, why?
Him: Call me after work?
Me: Maybe
Him: Please don't tell me you still don't wanna see me
Me: It's not like much has changed since the last time I talked to you
Him: Fine do what you want, I'm not begging my own daughter..
Me: And I'm not asking much from my father..
Him: K
(No response, 2 hour break)
Him: I'm going to treatment on the 19th in IC for 3 weeks, hope to see you before then
Me: You won't

Now, you may think it was a bit harsh but I'm doing it in both of our best interests. If I let him back into my life yet again, before he gets through treatment, before he's made it past a couple months, what good is it gonna do when he drinks again? For me, I'll be heartbroken yet again, and he, well, he just won't have anything more to do then mope around and feel sorry for himself. Pathetic. I've decided not to talk to him until after treatment. I can't help but feel like he's really changed this time..just like I always do. But then again, it's like my second nature to know he'll mess it up. I guess this time it's truely in God's hands and I pray for his sake, that he means it this time. I don't know how many more lives he'll get. He's had over nine and I don't think God gives out much more then that. I'm praying for him.

A Touchy Subject

A typical day at school yesterday, coming home to get some homework done before cheer practice, and heading to the boyfriends house. It seemed just like every other normal Wednesday until my mom brought in the mail and handed me a letter. Being a teen, I'm not usually contacted via mail but usually through text or phone call. Least to say, I was surprised. Even more surprised at the fact that I had received a letter from my father. Weird right? I guess I really haven't shared my history with my father, but that's because it's a prettty touch subject for me. First off, you need to know that the father I'm referring to is simply the person that brought me into this world, and that's about it. He is my biological father and my mother and him were never married. I guess you could say I was a bit of a "surprise" but my mother loved me from the moment she knew I was on the way. My father, on the other hand, he had a bit too much fun as a kid and inherited a disease that runs in the family: alcoholism and he was too worried about consuming as much alcohol he could so that he could continue to obtain a good drunkness throughout the entire day. I love my mother to death, but I must say I never saw what she saw in him. On the day of my birth, he promised he would stay sober and he did so for the first 6 months of my life. Considering I can't remember it, I'm going to hope it was pretty joyous. But after that, it was never the same for me or for my mom. She was finally smart enough to leave him when I turned one year, knowing that if she stayed we'd either end up in welfare or die. We moved into a smaller apartment and a couple years later, she remarried to my current stepfather whom I don't consider a stepfather, but an actual father figure. I don't have that awkward relationship like most do and I don't resent him for the fact that he "broke up" my parents, I'm happy that he saved us and I will eternally love him. But you probably want to know what happened to my father ? Well after living up the high life, he began living in the "Safe Place" a home downtown for those with addiction problems. He seemed on the right path, for a couple weeks perhaps, but he always has a tendency to be selfish. He began working for a car dealership and when he wouldn't make as much as he thought he could, which was way above anything he needed to be making. He'd give up, he'd drink, and he'd drive. He's lost his license over 5 times in his life for driving while intoxicated, and frankly has never stopped drinking.

Sometimes I swear my mother is a saint. He could be in jail for paying zero child support or for being publicly intoxicated all the time, but she let him live. He's a member of AA (Alcholics Anonymous) and for a couple months every so often he will get really involved, but it's never permanent. Something will go wrong whether it be: a girl, a job, or me and my mom, he always has some reason to begin drinking again. After he's hit rock bottom for the 12th time, he swears his life has changed, he'll invite me over to his current living quarters and sit me down to have dinner (usually some stuff off the dollar menu at McDonalds) and discuss him coming back into my life. The problem: he's never officially been there. All memories I have from my younger years that involve him usually involve crying. Some because he missed my birthday, some because he missed Christmas, or some because he wasn't in my life. I remember my mom telling me at a very young age that my father had a tendency to "get sick" and that I wasn't allowed to see him when it was this way. I never understood and always thought it was because she didn't want to see him herself. I now realize, what a good person she was for doing so and for making sure I didn't inherit the disease. Although, I do get tested and interviewed every year by an alcoholism study group for the University of Iowa. They usually interview me, ask me about my drinking (which is nonexistent), and then put these wires on my head and study my brain. The benefit for me is making almost $200 and then going to spend it at Coralridge. They doubt I'll grow up with the disease and believe me to be a normal, happy, healthy girl. All of which are generally true.
The letter from my dad was a sob story. The speech he gives me all the time when he swears he's done drinking and he's on the right path. It starts out with explaining his "legitimate" excuse on why he started, apologizing for not being in my life, and what actions he will be taking to improve our relationship. blah blah blah blah blah. To say the bare minimum, I'm done with it. And to be completely honest, I could care less if he's in my life or not. I've been through enough in my life with him, that sometimes it's just not worth it. I've lost all respect and trust I've ever had for him. I never thought I'd be able to hate someone I love so much, but it's happened. And I've realized I'm done, I'm moving on, a chapter in my life closed and for good this time so that I can be happy.

I-O-W-A IOWA ELITE!

I'd first like to note the fact that this post was finished and created on Saturday morning at 8 AM on 10/03/09, for odd reasons beyond my belief, it did not publish and was sitting in a draft in my blogging account which I found today when I logged on to do a blog for this week. So, I'd really hope this counts for last weeks and here was the post...

As I told you in the last post, I want to describe to you the world of competitive cheerleading, and trust me it's pretty broad. First off, I'd like to point out the difference between competitive and regular cheerleading. School cheerleaders are those who promote school spirit and pump up the crowd at large school games by yelling loudly, doing some jumps, and occasionally some stunting. Competitive cheerleading is a combined sport that involves the main aspects of cheerleading intensified. Competitive cheerleading is where a team of cheerleaders put together a 2 minute and 30 second routine that involves skillls based on their levels. They must have a cheer, a dance, varied stunts (these are the things where cheerleaders put people in the air), jumps, and tumbling (this is the flipping aspect). In a typical cheerleading competition, teams are pitted against each other based on their skill level. This being the hardest tricks they can throw. Teams who have more people on their team that can do more flips and harder, more complicated stunts are generally in the higher levels, whereas beginner teams that have less tumbling skills and easier stunts are placed in lower levels. The levels range anywhere from 1-8, they also include titles like Senior meaning the team is all of ages 11 or older, youth meaning they range from 7 to 11, and minis which range from 3-7. All of these have sub groups like all girl meaning every person on the team is a girl, Co-Ed meaning there are boys on the team, and Combo meaning the people on the team can range from any age. There are over 100 competitions in the USA each competitive season, which usually runs from August-March and there are over 1000 teams nationally that compete in these. The biggest competition is by far, Nationals, which are located in Orlando, Florida at the end of the competition season in March and attract the largest number of teams and is therefore broadcasted nationally. The best of the best compete here in a two day competition, pitted against their rivals, fighting for the first place trophy (which tend to be 6 ft tall) and most importantly the chance to own the title: best National team in their level and wear the famous all star championship jackets. It's a dream every team wishes to achieve each competition season but only few actually accomplish. Last year, my team, Iowa Elite, placed 4th for our all girl team and 2nd for our senior co-ed team and we hope to do better this year. I guess I kinda forgot to tell you about my nationally ranked team that I'm prouder then ever to be a member of for the past two years. Located on 6th Street in Cedar Rapids, Iowa near Hawkeye downs. This is the 7th year Iowa Elite has become a home to all of us cheerleaders and is currently the largest competitive team that Iowa has. Our colors are green, orange, black, and silver. We compete in over 10 competitions each season, traveling to Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and of course Florida. We have 7 teams: Tinys, Minis, Youth, Youth travel team, senior all girl, senior co-ed, and adult team. We have over 75 girls and about 10 coaches. The gym is always open for new members and we also have integrated tumbling practices and open gyms inside of our twice a week two hour practices for each team. We are very competitive, and we work hard in our practices. It makes us even prouder to wear our uniforms competition day, having our cheerleading friends and family surrounding us and cheering us on, and we all love each other very much. It's like a second home and second family for me and is a very big part of my life that I hope to share with the rest of you. Our cheer words are as follows and feel free to follow us to any of our competitions and follow along: IOWA ELITE, TAKING CHEER HIGHER! CHAMPIONS THATS RIGHT! WERE ON FIRE! I-O-WA!

Yet Again...

After discussing many topics with my current AP Lang teach Ayers (shout out) I think I've finally decided a broad enough topic that I can never possibly get bored. In this blog, I hope to give you an insight on me, my goals, my dreams, and my life. When I become older I hope to be a pediatrician. Why? Because I love kids. I have so much experience with babysitting, I have younger siblings so I babysit all the time, and have a million little baby cousins that are absolutely adorable. With that, I also love to take care of kids. Being a pediatrician is just that, helping little kids grow into young adults by being happy and healthy, and its what I aspire to be. After completing high school, I hope to attend the University of Iowa because I hear they have an awesome pre-med program that I would love to be involved in and I want to be close to home as I have a very close relationship with my family, all of whom live in Iowa. Within this topic, I'll talk about my experiences with volunteering at the hospital, but paying attention to confidentiality for various reasons. I hope to also entertain you with the events going on in my life: mostly competitions for competitive cheerleading. The count down is 17 days until our next competition: Jamfest. Quite possibly one of the largest cheerleading competitions in the United States, located in Peoria, Illinois. But before I will even begin to tell you about competitions, you should probably know a little bit about competitive cheerleading, which I plan to do tomorrow, I have other homework calling my name. Toodles for now!

Quick Commentary

I guess I also forgot to mention in my previous post, I plan on giving a little word to the wise at the end of each post about each clique..It is simply my personal advice based on my experiences and preferences with the different cliques. Take it how you want, it's just the way I feel.

Gossip Girls

We all know who they are. They run their mouths like it's their job and their main purpose at high school is to spread everything: rumors, secrets, and the latest gossip. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all rely on these people to tell us everything. And they're the ones to call if you wanna check up on your boyfriend or girlfriend. They get the latest scoop. Yet what I want to know is where do they get it? They're in the same environment that we are, usually are friends with the same people we are, but they tend to know so much more than we do. I think it's because they have good peripheral vision. They see the things we don't, they can sense what we can't, and let's face it they've got to have eyes in the back of their heads. These gossip girls can be anyone but they usually are "the almosts". This clique, which I will later discuss, are the ones that are basically in the "popular" group but not quite. They hang around the edges. They'll attend some big bonfires or group outings, but nothing major. They sit with the "populars" in the student section at games, but they never cheer half as loud. They always seem to be rushing around, as if they have a big purpose. That purpose being you. They wanna find out everything about you, and they'll do whatever it takes, even if it means sneaking around in your business. Most of the rumors they either start themselves or make up to get some things stirring. I feel like it's their one attempt at becoming popular. They want attention and they know they can get it if they start the conversation up. They can do this by starting out with what they heard or the latest couple. Some find them annoying, but some find them helpful. They don't really have specific physical traits, although must tend to be quiet girls with darker hair, especially the ones with the bangs that either cover their face or don't do enough for them. They wear an average amount of make up, but switch up their eye shadow alot mainly to be recognized. They have a unique sense of style and when they try, they can look really pretty. I guess I forgot to mention that most of them are GIRLS. That's because a) if any guy were to be this, most would probably find him weird, annoying, and potentially gay b) they'd have to be really good friends with the boys ANd girls (potentially impossible at our school if you ask me) and c) they'd have to be involved in things other than sports, but still be friends with all the jocks. And frankly, guys just don't care as much as girls do about the "talk" around school, because they'll believe what they want to and they know what's true and what's not. The only talk I ever hear coming from guys is the usual locker room chat they have after games or practices, and usually involves grading girls on a piggish scale. Pathetic. But what makes the Gossip Guys different, is they travel in a pack. There's never just one guy who says it, if one of the football players thinks a band girl is hot, they all do. They share the same opinions and tend to allow one leader make all their decisions for them, whether they agree or not. This differs from the girls. The gossip girls never unite I've realized. If they did, they'd be a supernatural source and none of your secrets would ever be safe. Another reason: they'd never get along and they'd probably always try to figure out secrest about each other. Annoying much? To me, I think so. My secrets are safe with me however, because I know none of my friends would tell the gossip girls, no matter how much they pry. And I don't mean to be dissing on them, because some of the girls I'm really good friends with and are nice at heart. You just have to be careful what you say and how you say it, cause you never know who will be listening to it. My advice to you: keep your stuff on the DL. If you don't want people knowing, don't tell. And make sure if you're gonna do something crazy, don't let others see it. You never know who'd be watching, and whose ready to spill their guts to all the popular girls. Trust no one. Except of course, your mommy.

All Things High School

At my many failed attempts to find a good topic to grasp and be able to write about, I think I need to broaden my horizons and switch up the playing field. New topic with more of a variety, and this time it's for good. What I'm going to talk about will not be news to many of you, but what it will be is my insight on all things high school. Mostly, cliques. I will attempt to write about a new clique each week that I see forming or existing at our high school. In doing so, I can write about the various cliques we have: the characteristics, the traits (both phsycially and emotionally) and the behaviorisms. I considered making this into a project and trying to become a part of a new clique each week but only realized that it'd be impossible because a) there's way too many, b) not all cliques will be accepting, and c) I don't play in band, don't play sports, and don't do any drama so that would eliminate me from a large amount of the cliques.
I will attempt to speak about each main event that happens weekly at our school, be it a sports game, an assembly, or a good article in the school newspaper all revolving around people. Before I begin, I would like to mention the fact that in no way do I mean to harm anyone's self-esteem by publishing things about being part of cliques. I do not mean to make personal attacks on anyone nor do I mean to judge or criticize people about their characteristics I am simply stating my opinion on the surroundings that are presented to me in the high school I attend. Welcome then, to the cliquey high school life.

VMAS-Michael Jackson Tribute

While writing about the latest VMA's, I almost forgot to mention the most important part: It was ALL ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON. From the speeches of Madonna, to the performances of his various songs, to the special performance by Janet Jackson, it seemed the VMA's had a second motive: to promote and celebrate the life of Michael Jackson. While I'll admit, some of his hit songs were pretty good and the guy was an outrageously good dancer with really unique moves, I feel like the title "King of Pop" doesn't necessarily fit him. For one, he isn't the King of Pop because not all of his songs were pop. Back in the day, the Jackson Five wrote many songs, even Christmas ones. Secondly, people seem to forget the fact that he was accused of child molestation, he's not the real father of his kids, he bleached his skin, he dangled a baby over a high balcony, did drugs (even high at a press conference) and he quite possibly had sexual relations with men?? Does no one seem to care?!? His death was due to the fact that he overdosed on prescription drugs. The whole ordeal blew up and now people are trying to pay tribute to a man of his stature? Unbelievable. I think Michael was better when he was a kid. His voice was amazing and he had a golden heart, plus his four other brothers made the Jackson Five a total success. But as he got older, he only became worse. Sure, we can celebrate the fact that he lived life, more or less appropriately. The fact of the matter is he's gone: Let's mourn and be done with it. After all, life will go on.

Banned For Life?

The commodity and publicity of the famous Kanye incident at the VMA's has still not expired. Instead, radio stations are using it as a great prize give a way. Local station, Z102.9, has a prize for the ninth caller once they catch the name and artist of the song that Kanye interrupts. For example, "I Wanna Touch You" by Fall Out Boy was playing and in the middle of the song Kanye's voice comes on saying that Beyonce's video was the best. Then, the caller calls in and wins the Fall Out Boy CD and Beyonce's CD. Awesome. Wanna know what's ridiculous to me? Jay-Z told a British radio station that while it was rude of Kanye West, he shouldn't be condoned as much as he is. "He's just a very passionate person" Jay-Z said. Passionate enough to come up and take the mic away from a poor little Taylor Swift getting her first award? I think not. I agree with the polls, Kanye should be banned from award shows for life. Or maybe not forever, but for a while until he can mature up. Part of me thinks he did it all for publicity. Clearly, everyone has been making a big deal of it. Celebs are all getting asked their opinions, most sane T-Swift fans think that Kanye is foul. Even our own president, Barrack Obama, says the celeb is disgraceful. Some artists however believe that West wasn’t that out of line, since rude, obnoxious actions have long been the norm at awards shows. Think back to Super Bowl XXXVIII when Janet Jackson's boob got exposed, nasty right? Yet, the publicity from that never ended. While most parents were upset, Justin Timberlake went up in popularity. That's exactly how this thing is going down. Either way it was still really rude, and I vote he's banned for awhile.

Baby Daisy is Gone

In recent news, it has been announced that Jessica Simpson's little dog Daisy (a Malti-Poo) was snatched up by a coyote only three days ago. Like a mother, she is on an endless search for Daisy while critics say it's quite impossible for the dog to still be alive after three days, she still has hope. What I think is most idiotic about the situation is that she is spending money trying to find the dog when clearly it is dead. A coyote is a predator and naturally it's going to eat what it can find, even Jessica's beloved dog. What amazes me is that even a girl, who seemingly is not the brightest crayon in the box, doesn't realize the circumstances of the situation. I hope she doesn't take this to the extreme, wasting money on SQUAD teams who will only either never find the dog or find it under some dirt in a desserted area? Whose to know, celebs do have a lot of money and are known for pointless spending. Sad to say that Daisy must be gone, but why doesn't she just use the 22 million or so she currently has and buy a brand new one? While it's true money can't buy you happiness, it sure can make things alot better for Jessica. And in this situation, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Kanye West is clearly not Best!

So, I think I've decided to rename and re-do this blog and my inspiration being the recent VMA's. Watching those got me thinking: I'm way more interested in today's world then I am in the fiction books of Mary Higgins Clark (no offense Mary). While I do enjoy reading and solving mystery books as a past time, it's time to move on to bigger, better, and let's face it more importnant things in life revolving around pop culture. In doing so, I can talk about the current issues the press has brought about, the celeb world, and whats new in the trends and fashions of todays world. By doing so, I will encompass more of a variety of things to talk about and therefore have more to say than I do with reviewing mystery books. This first blog I decided to talk about the scandalous act of famous celeb Kanye West, whom I WAS a fan of, but not anymore! Last night I watched a re-run of the VMA's which aired on Sunday night as they were announcing the nominees for best female video, I couldn't help but stare at the nominees. Lady Gaga was up for her PokerFace video and while I think she produces awesome music I must say her fashion sense is a little wacko. Maybe its her culture, I don't know, but whatever she was sporting was not working for her. It looked much like an ugly green sweater with a neck brace and a huge pink feather over her tightly packed-in curled blonde hair. Not cute. Next, was Beyonce, who I believe is so incredibly beautiful its inevitable she's up for the award. Have you seen her dance? Hello, she's amazing. The Single Ladies video was what was nominated and for obvious reasons: clever dance moves, innovative booty shaking, and small little outfits. Also up, was Taylor Swift. She's a personal favorite of mine simply because I think her songs relate to me the most. Whatever is going on in my life, her songs have lead me through to believe there is hope, mostly in relationships and love. She has taught me many things with her words, and her music has a huge effect on me. Her song, "You Belong With Me" was the nominated video, and I feel this song speaks to me the most. But enough about me, you probably wanna know who won? As if you don't already, Taylor Swift did! This being her first VMA award, she seemed humble and overjoyed as she walked up on stage and began thanking all of her fans and producers. A drunken Kanye West approaches on the stage, grasping the mic. out of Taylor's hands and proclaiming that Beyonce clearly had the best video ever. The whole crowd seemed mortified and everyone looked pissed off. Taylor's friends and family all stood up applauding her, all while glaring at Kanye as he walked off. Everyone was appalled by his behavior and it is rumored that Taylor Swift slapped him backstage. Much like any other girl in that situation would do, I hope. But what was most inspiring was when Beyonce won Best Video (ironic that ultimately Kanye's beliefs were right?) and while she thanked everyone she pulled Taylor Swoft up on stage with her. What an unbelieveable role model and respectable woman in the celeb world. Kudos to her for making the night so much better. I wish I could discuss more, but homework is calling my name. Until next time, Have a good one.