2 WEEKS!!

Official countdown: 14 DAYS!!!!!! That's right suckas, I am leaving for Florida in two weeks. That's all. Two weeks and then I am free for the Summer. For the rest of the year. For eternity. Can life get any better? I think not. I am soo pumped right now!! I have been waiting for this for a couple months now and it's finally finally here. In preparation: I've been gathering the items necessary like my swimsuit, my tanning oil, my running shoes, my sunglasses, towels, cute dresses, cash mula, and a pocketful of joy. Haha not literally a pocketful of joy, but I know just how happy I am going to be down there!! 11 days of fun in the sun and when I get back? No worrying about being in school. No, far from it. I am going to be living the life: SUMMER 2010. How excited can we all get?!??! I don't know. I can get pretty dang exciting. It will be nothing but parties all day every day, oh and that suckish thing called working :( Did I tell you I have 2 jobs? Yeah...I am now working at OfficeMax AND Vanity. Today, was my first day of hell aka working both jobs in one day. I worked Vanity from 7-noon and Officemax 1230-330, and cheerleading 4-6. This upcoming week: Monday night, Vanity 5-7. Tuesday night, Officemax 4-9, Wednesday night, cheerleading 430-630, Thursday night, Officemax 4-9, Friday Officemax 4-9, Saturday Vanity 2-7. Saturday night, wedding for my dad's cousin, Sunday projects galore and cheerleading. Sound like an eventful week? Yeah, I'm thinking so too. What's even worse is that I have to finish all my final projects early, take some of my finals early, and get ready for Florida in less than two weeks. I guess it just kinda hit me today. I'm gonna be gone. But, there are so many things to do before I leave I don't know how I'm going to accomplish it all. I do know, however, that this next week I'm gonna have to rock the homework, get through the projects, and really buckle down for the short haul. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll get through...that is if Mr. Ayers would not give us so much dang stuff to do before the end of the year! I mean really we have three weeks and we still have to get through authors studies, video essays, and third term portfolios. Yowza that sounds like a lot!! PLUS: I have to finish a project for AP US History, write and memorize an oral final for Spanish, learn AND PASS my chemistry final, finish my experiment/make my display board/finish my project for AP Psychology, and learn the rest of math/be able to pass that final. So, I was thinking that when my AP exams were done, I would be done with school. But clearly, that was more than an understatement. So much to do, so little time! I'll get there with a little help from my friends. Sorry, I'm quoting movies now and simultaneously watching season finales of my favorite shows, and trying to work on projects, read, and do other homework. Now, I'm just rambling to get the rest of my words in for the week and I'm thinking this is enough so peace out g scout. One more week of blogging? Or two? I'm thinking just one.

Masectomy

Today, while working, I saw one of the scariest and most beautiful things I have ever seen that truly made me appreciate not only being in AP Lang and reading an essay about it, but being a woman and loving life. Today, I saw a woman with one breast. This was one of the most powerful things for me to see. Yeah, I've heard of breast cancer, I've even had an aunt who was diagnosed with it for awhile. She eventually came out of remission and she's doing okay now, but I know what it must have been like for her. According to http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/what_is_bc.jsp: Breast cancer is an uncontrolled growth of breast cells. The term “breast cancer” refers to a malignant tumor that has developed from cells in the breast. Usually breast cancer either begins in the cells of the lobules, which are the milk-producing glands, or the ducts, the passages that drain milk from the lobules to the nipple. Less commonly, breast cancer can begin in the stromal tissues, which include the fatty and fibrous connective tissues of the breast. Basically, there is no environmental cause to breast cancer it just happens. About 90% of breast cancers are due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and the “wear and tear” of life in general. There's nothing women can do to avoid it. So shouldn't that make us all fear it? Yes, it really should, which is why I recommend getting a breast examination to make sure your health is A-OK. Anyways, there are several treatments to breast cancer, even including masectomy. A masectomy is the actual removal of a breast in order to prevent the cancer from spreading it. There are over 10,000 of these each year and women across the world lose "part of femininity" due to the cause. We all know that in this day and age, women idolize the perfect, slender, slim body with abnormally large breasts and a great ass. But guess what? No one's perfect. In fact, people are more beautiful when not perfect in my own opinion. But girls always want to be the prettiest one in the room. That being said, losing a part of them, their femininity, their breast makes them feel like less of a woman. I would completely understand the feeling. I know that while not having the best, I am blessed for what I have. I know that women with masectomies can feel like a worse person, and down on themselves, even depressed but this woman who came in to officemax today looked like the happiest woman alive. She was smiling, she was laughing, she was flirting with her husband, and she was at least 60 years old. With cancer plaguing the world, sometimes for people who get diagnosed its better to think about the quality of life, rather than the quantity of days. This woman inspired me to take a step back and realize, life is beautiful. No matter how you live it. Whatever you do, however, live it to the fullest..

Post=Party

I am officially DONE with AP Exams. Let the party begin!! I'm so happy I could scream. My exams were not even that bad. My AP US History exam was not too hard, it had lots of questions about doctrines and plans and everything and a couple of my essays involved the civil war and suburbanization and other junk that I knew alot about so I think I did really good. I took the weekend as prep time, even came home on Friday night and ended up studying til about 1 am. Took all day Sunday to study and Monday night also and finally, Tuesday. It felt like a cycle to me. Every morning for my exams I would get up, go to Panera, have a quick review session, drive to KTOS, take the test, get lunch, go back to school, go home, study, eat, sleep, repeat. But finally, I saw the light on Wednesday, at the mall, once I knew officially the stressful exams were over with. But I kind of got off topic on what I was going to talk about and that is the actual exams. For AP Pyschology, my multiple choice was not even that bad except a couple which I didn't really know. I think I did good on my essays, minus like a point or two from each, but overall good. For AP Language, the passages were super easy to read and understand and there's no doubt in my mind that I passed that one. My last essay was really fantastic, although I finished with practically 30 minutes left so I didn't really know what to do. So, I played with my chair by moving it up and down and such and did many other things too wasting the time. I can't tell you what the feeling was when that last timer went off but it was feelings of pure bliss. Now, I have almost three weeks before I leave for Florida, aka three weeks left of school and three weeks left of Hell. I am so pumped for summer and for Florida and for my senior year to finally begin! ONE MORE YEAR!:) I can hardly wait. I'm going to cherish every moment of it. Live life. Sieze all the days. Carpe me some diem.

Wanna know what I used to study??
www.apexvs.com

Graduation

This weekend is the start to the numerous amounts of weekends filling my schedule with grad parties and I can tell you that I'm not super excited to go to any of them. First off, I think they're super awkward because you usually only know the person hosting them and then you don't know alot of the people there or half the people there dislike you. AKA my situation because I have a couple hater seniors who will probably make things really awkward for me at the grad parties I plan to attend. I plan on going with a couple girls to different ones based on the ones I think I really need to go to. But anyways, second off I think they're awkward because you never know what to eat and how much to eat of it. I think the grad parties all have really good food but it's weird to just eat in front of people and I never if I'm eating too much. Third off, I don't even know they expect grad gifts or what but my bank account does not afford for like 20 people to be having a good time in college. I don't know, also, if my relatives and what not expect me to take them with me to the people they know parties or what. Like, our old neighbor Mags. But, I doubt it. Anyways, grad parties also means that graduation is comign up really soon. That excites me because I'm one step closer to becoming the head hancho. That's right, next year I will finally be a senior. The top. The unstoppable. The number one. The best. Ahh there's so many names that I could call it, but basically we're the sh**. I'm really excited. I can't wait to sit on the senior bench and be in front of all the people when I walk across that graduation stage. But, I have a ways to go before I get there. I have to pass all my AP Exams, take all my required classes, and of course have a blast with my last year in high school. I'm really looking forward to cheer season and hopefully trying out to become an Iowa cheerleader. But, I have to train alot in order to get there. Right now, I'm just living life and feeling free, 'cus that's how it's supposed to be. Anyways, I was pondering the thought of going to graduation to see all the seniors, but I doubt some would like that plus I feel like it's gonna be really hot and sweaty and for what? So I can take some pics with people I'm not even close to? Ehhh. I know that I can volunteer to work at graduation by passing out pamphlets but do I really want to be on my feet that entire time? I think not. Plus, I think that basically means I have to stay for the entire thing and I don't want to do that. The seniors are leaving in T Minus 15 days. Let's get pumped Class of 2011. Oh bee tee dubs, I lost the election for vice president :( ehh I thought I was gonna win but oh well. Guess, we'll have a shitty prom cus our entire class officers are all boys except one chick who basically can be considered a boy anyways. Whatever, it's the voter's choice and their fault when prom sucks ass. Not too worrried.

Money Shortage

The economy is not the hottest right now, I'm sure we all know. With many people considering our current time period as perhaps another great depression, it's gotta be tough on the president. Plus, our time is now called: Great Recession. This is basically caused by numerous factors. According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financial_crisis_of_2007%E2%80%932010#Easy_credit_conditions, it's caused by:

1.1 Growth of the housing bubble
1.2 Easy credit conditions
1.3 Sub-prime lending
1.4 Predatory lending
1.5 Deregulation
1.6 Increased debt burden or over-leveraging
1.7 Financial innovation and complexity
1.8 Incorrect pricing of risk
1.9 Boom and collapse of the shadow banking system
1.10 Commodity bubble
1.11 Systemic crisis
1.12 Role of economic forecasting
2 Financial markets impacts
2.1 Impacts on financial institutions
2.2 Credit markets and the shadow banking system
2.4 Global contagion

Basically, our economy sucks butthole right now, as I'm sure we're all aware. Alot of people are suffering current job loss, lower income, and increased taxes. I know that my parents are not exempt to this. My dad's been slowly using nearly 5,000 of income each year. It's made us watch our money a little more. No more going out whenever we wanted, buying that great new pair of jeans, or a new household item we really "need." Instead, we've worked as a family, to decrease our spending. It all started with my mom beginning to watch Oprah and the famous "Suze Orman" supposedly America's financial guru who gives advice on how Americans can life a profitable life. My mom has read her past two books and she's been the driving force behind the movement in the Rolfes household. She's helped all of us by making more dinners for us to eat at home, by keeping groceries in the house, and by coming up with family events that are cheap and inexpensive. My dad's tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to quit his excessive spending on inadequate items and overeating outside of the home. He's cut down his fast food trips, but as a result increased his spending on other things. For example, yesterday for my mom's birthday he got her a new washer and dryer for like 1200 dollars. My mom cried she was so pissed. Basically, she's got alot of ambitious goals for home improvement, and she wants to achieve them before she dies. So, we've all suffered through the economic recession. Including, myself. I've told you about going to Florida on June 6th, so I've been saving all my paychecks to have enough money for down there. Keep in mind, however, that the cost of living is much higher than what it once was and I've found out the hard way money really doesn't grow on trees, nor, apparently does it grow in my bank account. Last night I went to Wal-Mart to get note cards and sharpies for my flashcards and my card got declined. It was embarrassing I'll admit and when I got home I changed my statement: 9.37. That's all I have in my account. FML. I looked through my purchases: gas, prom stuff, yada yada bullshi* that I really shouldn't have paid for myself. Anyways, it's whatever. Pay Day is Friday. Hallelujah.

First One!

Tomorrow, is Doom Day. Aka my first AP Exam for the year. I am pretty nervous because it is my history exam for U.S. History and the past two history exams I have taken I have gotten twos on. However, in my defense the last one I took I was all drugged up on pain killers because I had broken my ankle and I literally fell asleep during the essay. But that's besides the point. Anyways, this year I have gotten a ton better at starting studying early. A couple weeks ago I bought this huge review book at Barnes N Noble. Basically, it summarizes all the chapters of our history book, which I have never even read a single one, into 19 comprehensive chapters. I've read this entire thing and now I think I'm even more prepared. Last night, I stayed up until 230 AM working on flashcards that cover all the things I need to know. I know approximately half of them, which probably isn't best but with enough repetition I will learn everything I need to know. There's a huge issue, however, with my huge study plan for tonight: I'm scheduled to work. I have been trying to get someone to work for me for the past week now, and no one can seem to do it. So, I'm technically supposed to work but I really honestly don't think I can. I was gonna call in sick, but I've realized that that's probably not gonna work because all my managers know that I've been trying to get out of work, so therefore they know I'm not sick. I told one of my cool managers that I couldn't find anyone to work for me and of my plan to call in sick, but he told me that was a really bad idea because all the managers would be super pissed off at me and they would know that I'd be lying. This has put me in such a shitty position and I honestly don't know what to do. My cool manager offered me the fact that he could let me go early, but I don't know what he means by early. So, I texted him and we'll decide from there. I do know that I really don't care if my managers are mad because I'll be done with working at OfficeMax soon enough. So, any advice? That'd be great. Anyways, I'm not as nervous about this history exam just because it's less information to know. The past two years was very broadening and included the entire world. AP U.S. History, however, only deals with the U.S. thereby giving it less content with stuff that we know more about because it relates to us. In order to prepare tonight, I'll be taking my second practice exam along with learning my flashcards and probably re-reading old study guides and what not. If I don't get off work til 930, well I'm fuc*ed. So, still big dilemma. Anyways, I've realized I'm hardcore dragging this post out and for no reason, so I'm gonna move on to my next one in an attempt to get all three done. So, BYE!

practice tests (for all AP classes):
www.apexvs.com

Drama Drama Drama

I've talked about drama before, about how much I hate it, about how much I try to avoid it, and how much it always surfaces in the high school. Well, it resurfaced this past weekend, so unexpectedly, and so badly. So, I've been "talking" (term used to say almost dating/having a 'thing'/more then friends) to this boy named Brady from Marion. He's a sophomore but he's the cutest guy I have ever met and he's usually super sweet. We've hung out multiple times and I thought things were going pretty decent. And he thought so too, I mean he asked me to marry him on Facebook, and we were listed as married to each other, so he obviously wasn't too scared for other people to see that. I was relatively happy, I mean Brady has hurt me before by hooking up with another girl practically right in front of me. I forgave him eventually, and things seemed pretty good. A couple weekends ago my friend Abby got broken up with by her boyfriend. She was devestated, so I took her to a bonfire Brady had invited me to to take her mind off of it. I know, what a good friend I am. Anyways, I introduced her to lots of new, potential mates and I introduced her to Brady. No big deal, we had a good time, had a sleepover, and we talked about boys. This is when I told her about me and Brady and how close we were becoming and then I read her some texts from him saying he liked me and hoped things would work out and what not. I'd say it's pretty clear we were in the pre-dating stage correct? Correct. So anyways, she didn't seem to care because this past weekend I was supposed to hang out with her and Jordan, but I had to hang out with shelby instead. I got on facebook the next day and wrote on her wall and told her we really needed to hang out soon and sorry that I couldn't hang. Then, I creeped on the pictures she put up from the weekend, and gasped at what I saw. She only had abut 5454345 pictures of her and Brady, including one of them kissing. STRAIGHT UP KISSSING. ON THE LIPS. IN A PICTURE. FOR THE WORLD TO SEE! Slutty kinda? Yeah I think so too. Plus, she keeps saying how heartbroken she is over her ex-boyfriend. HA. Obviously not, because she's kissing another boy in a picture like two weeks later. And not only is it with a boy, it's with my boy. Or should I say was. Anyways, I commented on it and I was like hahahahah suppper cute abs :):):) and she commented back and was like it's not what it looks like! Haha wanna explain to me what it was then? Cus to me, it looks like your kissing the guy I told you I liked. Hmm weird. That's exactly what it is. I wished I could say something like that but instead I just didn't comment back. So, I'm like sweet life. I go to write on her wall and I see Brady wrote on it. So, I looked at their wall-to-wall (maybe a little creepy) and they were talking about playing tennis together the next day. So basically here's a recap of what happened: I told Abby I liked Brady, Abby kisses/takes pics of kissing Brady and puts them on facebook, Abby goes on a date with Brady, Abby doesn't apologize and neither does Brady. Cooool. It's funny because if I even took a pic with Cole (her ex) she'd be all on my case. It's one thing for her to steal him from me, eh not a big deal I don't need him I have other boys, but it's another thing to just not even do anything about it. So now I'm like what the heck! You're a bit**. I'm pissed off, I don't like her at the moment, and I am gonna take a picture with Cole soon I've decided and put hearts on it or something. Yep, I stoop to that level but only because she did it first. And if you're reading this Abby, F YOU :)

Midterms?

Today, we had a walk through homeroom to recieve our grade report for the current term. Amazingly called, a midterm report, since we're half way through the final term of this year. It's weird to think that my junior year is 5/6 of the way done and in like five minutes I'll start the beginning of the end. Besides the fact that my senior year is looming closer and closer, my grades kinda-sorta SUCK currently. I blame it on my trip to Florida. This was at the beginning of the third term, therefore I missed three or four days of all my classes and lots of new material. As a result, I tried getting caught up but also tried to stay ahead and that was an epic fail. I forced myself to think I was ready to take half the quizzes and tests that I wasn't, and as a result did poorly on all of those. Being the beginning of the term, there was no other things in the grade book besides these bad scores, so I got really bad grades the first couple weeks. Slowly, I worked myself out of it and am still progressing. That doesn't mean that my grades have necessarily seen the best improvements and I'm still working to get them back to normalcy. So, right now, I'm looking at some low B's and A's. Eh, that's pretty bad for me. My GPA is still a 3.8, so that's really good compared to other students but not that good for me. I do really need to keep working but I just can't seem to motivate myself. With Florida only like thirty some days away, the anticipation is EATING ME ALIVE! I'm going crazy thinking I only have a short amount of time before the best time of my life, and it's really hard to focus! But, my AP Exams are coming really quickly too. I have my first one next Friday for AP U.S. History, one that I'm not necessarily too worried about because I've been reading a review book, along with taking practice exams online and in this review book. Plus, we're doing a review project for everyone to learn what they need to about a certain era. We've had a couple hard tests in there, which is mygrade is like a B, but by the end of the term I guarantee an A, because he said we're going to have lots of extra credit and easy projects. In AP Lang, I failed some in class essays and multiple choice shit so I had a D, but got it raised to a B with blog checks. Still think I could get at least a B plus for the term, but right now I'm rockin that 86 percent. In Spanish, well that's just stupid because our teacher gives us tests over the hardest and most randomest stuff that she never really has taught us. She has literally turned my love for Spanish off, and now I'm not even sure if I wanna take it next year, I mean really what's the point? Anyways, I've failed some tests in there so I have a B in there, which I'm hoping to raise to an A by the end of the year. Chemistry I'm doing just fine in, got that rockin 95 percent and not worried at all. In AP Psychology, I have a B plus because I'm getting points off like each week for daily grades although I have no idea why cus I always participate in class and stuff. Whatever. And in Algebra 2, well I just straight up don't understand half the stuff we've learned and are currently learning and I really have been trying to come in for extra help, but it's gonna be hard for me to whip out that A by the end of the year. So you know my grades are okay for now because it's just midterm, but I really have to do some work to get them up by the end of the year.

Want to visit my grades? Well here's the website:

www.powerschool.org

Psycho Library Lady

So, I'm sitting here waiting to give my speech for Class of 2011 Vice President. I'm in the library at our school, and am minding my own, sitting, being quiet, and now doing something productive. My cell phone was sitting on the table while I was chilling on the computer, deleting my junk e-mails and reading the funny ones forwarded from my little sisters. I wasn't making noise, said hello to a couple people I knew in the room, but all in all I've been keeping to myself. Anyways, this bit** library lady walks up to me and tells me to put my cell phone away. At first I thought it was a joke, so I kind of laughed it off since I didn't really know this teacher, but then she told me I would have to leave and couldn't tape my speech if I didn't put my cell phone away. For one, it's after school so it really shouldn't matter. If I didn't have to wait to tape my speech, I would be on my way home or something of the nature in an area where I could use my cell phone. For two, it's not like I'm staying here to do work. I explained to her when I entered here that I had to wait to do my speech, meaning I was staying here solely for that purpose. I sat down at a computer because it seems like the only thing to do in this boring place, and I logged on and began checking e-mails and grades. So, after I had put my cell phone away she decides to yell at me for working on something not school related. Seriously? Get real here lady. First off, it's after school therefore I don't have to do what you say just because I'm using something of the schools and there's no reason why you shouldn't let people do what they want to on the computers. For some less fortunate people, this may be the only computer access available to them and they probably don't want to spend it doing pointless classwork. So lighten up. Second off, if I don't have any other homework what on earth do you expect me to do in this boring place? You act as if I actually want to go pick out a book and begin reading, besides I'd rather not pay a late fee or something ridic such as that for only attempting to waste my time for twenty minutes before I go. You may be thinking I'm overexaggerating a bit, or that perhaps the lady isn't as mean as she sounds, but I'm definitely not the only one she's yelled at. She walked over to a kid whom she knew by name and told him he neeeded to stop watching Youtube videos, he told her he was listening to music and she said that's fine but you don't need to be watching the music video either and if you don't start being productive, I'll make you leave. HA. Then, a kid takes out his phone and stands up, as if he's ready to walk out, and she says you have to walk out of here and not come back if you're going to use your phone. No phones allowed. He told her he was a freshman (okay, yeah he lied) and that he was waiting for his mom to call to let him know that she was there. She said that that was just too bad. Wow really? It's funny how the schools supposedly want to participate in the "No child left behind" program, allowing kids access to computers, well guess what lady? Let kids be kids and do what they want on the computer. I honestly think this lady is just hard because she doesn't have an actual teaching position and instead she has the pathetic position of head librarian. Well she's not going to be the boss of me I'll tell you that much. I'm opening up some Youtube and texting away!

Spring Cold

So we've all heard of the usual wintery cold that plagues nearly half of America each winter season comes about, but not many have heard of a spring cold. Well guess what? It's here and it's attacking. At least me. I'm currently coughing all the time, my throat is so sore and swollen, and my nose is stuffed. Pretty typical of a cold right? Yes, right only a couple kids think I have allergies. Got me thinking: allergies are usually a seasonal thing right? Right. Well, this cold came about when Spring came about. Allergies cause irritation to eyes right? Right. Well, my eyes have been a little puffy and red, and a bit sensitive EVER since i got this cold. Allergies also happen when pollen count is high right? Well, guess what? The pollen count in Cedar Rapids is raising the roofs currently. So, maybe, just maybe, even though I've never had them before I just might have allergies. It's a scary thought for me simply because I'm kind of a worry wart when it comes to health. If I have allergies, that probably also means that the symptoms will return. While I obviously know I will have a cold again, I don't want to have it each and every time a new season rolls around. Thinking I should go to the doctor right? Wrong. My parents are a bit cheap and money is tight and I just don't think a doctors appointment right now is what is needed in the budget. So, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I've been drugged up on cough drops, been taking ibuprofen, drinking lots of fluid, espescially with Vitamin-c (like orange juice and vitamin water), and been careful not to expose myself to any cold weather. But nothing's changed. It's been about two weeks now and I'm beginning to get worried. If I truly have allergies, I need to be on some medication. But what kind? I'm not the best at taking huge pills nor am I good at slurping down nasty cough tasting cherry medicine. So, I'm stuck world. Can anyone diagnose me? Tell me what I need to do? I don't know, but I wish that I could feel better. And, prom is just a weekend away. I don't wanna look sick for pictures nor do I wanna sound like this nasaly mess when talking to people at prom. So clear me up! I'm doing what I can mother nature, now you do what you can! Please and thank you :)

--Kiona

P.S. The picture above is a nasty cold. Not half as bad as mine, but see what I could amount to?!

New Opportunity

Today, I have an interview at a clothing store at the local mall. I'm super excited because I frequently shop this place anyways and to get a job there, would just be very ideal for me. In preparation, I've picked out the cutest dress I've ever seen that, coincidentally, I got from Vanity to wear with cute shoes I also, coincidentally, got from there. I've prepared mental answers to the questions I assume they're going to ask and I've allowed myself to remember everything I have done in case they ask about qualifications. Everything seems so right with getting this job, except for the miniscule detail, that I already HAVE a job.

Okay, so yeah I'm only seventeen years old, a junior in high shcool, and not alot of spare time, but that doesn't mean that I can't have two jobs. I know many of you out there are thinking I'm pretty crazy and trust me last Summer I would've said the same thing. But here are the things I've considered to open up my mind to having two jobs. For one, I'll be going off to college in one short year. Planning on going to University of Iowa, where it's approximately 20,000 a year. That's kind of a lot coming from a family of four children, the other three being in elementary and high school too. It's going to be a financial burden on my parents as is, so why not help them out a bit? I figure if I can retain the two jobs, I could save up up to 5,000 dollars. Second off, it's only for the summer. While I'll never forget the significance of my first job at the beloved OfficeMax, it won't matter to me anymore because at the end of the summer, I plan on getting rid of it that is if I get the job at Vanity. Because I not only will like the job more at Vanity, but it will be more beneficial to me because I'll be needing new clothes and what not and I can just get them there. So basically, I'm pretty stoked and I kinda have to go get ready for it so I guess I will let you know how it goes! My interview is at 3:30! WISH ME LUCK :)

here's the clothing store website:

www.vanity.com

Hoping I get some prettty sweeeet discounts!

Drunken Feet

This morning, I woke up to my father shaking me, telling me to get up and get ready to go. I rolled over to look at the clock and see that it was only 6:15, and yet I was waking up even though I wasn't going to school. I got up and out of bed, dazily brushed my teeth and combed my hair, threw on my comfortable clothes and headed for the car. It was 7:00 when we were officially on the road. This is only after my father and I stopped at IHOP for breakfast. One of my favorite parts of going on trips with him is that he never fails to do something fun for food and we always end up at a good place with good food and good conversation. But on the road, I attempted to finish all the homework I let slide last night in an attempt to get my mind off the inevitable: the whole reason we were on this trip. After two years, we arrived. The exit sign had the blue H on top, it made me shiver. We pulled in to the parking lot and began walking in. It look so sickly and bad, and I immediately had an upset stomach. We walk in, up to the second floor, and approach her. She's sitting there, almost in tears, looking worn out and fatigued. This was my grandmother and we were at the hospital for a cancer appointment she had. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer last year, it was a devestation to the entire family so it was more than bliss when she was in remission only five short months ago. But I guess, as the saying goes, happy times don't last forever. Sure enough, after we had assumed that all the bad stuff was out of her system, even more was there for the next appointment. This time, it was in her legs, her shins, and her tailbone. She was heartbroken as I'm sure you could imagine and so was the entire family. Today, she had a doctor's check up to see what the next steps were. Lately, she's been doing some chemotherapy, only not as much, because her body is becoming too weak for it. Before we got there, she had gotten some bloodwork done and when we arrived we went into the doctor's office and sat down to hear the results. In this small little room, with a bed much like a doctor's facility, was my father, me, my grandfather, and my grandmother. We all sat down as the doctor did some procedural stuff, checking her pulse and what not, and then it was time for the news. The doctor, Dr. Merchant, told us that the platelets in her body were low, meaning her immune system was very weak and it was possible that if she caught something she could be done for good. This was upsetting news for all of us but that wasn't even the worst of it. He asked her what her symptoms were prior to the results, and she had told him she was having much pain in her legs, had lots of hot and cold flashes with over 102 temperatures, and numbness in her feet. She said she felt like she was drunk and that it was an effort to get up and put one foot in front of the other. The doctor told us later that these symptoms were signs of the cancer he had expected all along only this cancer spread to her brain and even the strongest chemo could not help her. This is when he began to tell us that it was better to simply consider the quality of life, not the quantity. He told her that the cancer was advancing quickly and that her body was too weak for more chemotherapy. They could still do it, but he didn't know how much it would do for her. He told her that she should enjoy the days because eventually, there weren't going to be many left. And just like that, he left the room. It was heartbreak. There was silence in the room and everybody looked like there had been a large electric shock. We all began tearful, we hugged my grandmother, this woman once so full of life and now so little left to her. It was a sad experience, one that I will never forgot. My grandfather is probably the worst. He is so discombobulated, I don't know what he's going to do. I'm praying for both of them. Today, was a sad sad day for the Rolfes family. Please Grandma Edie in your prayers...


For more information on cancer, visit:

www.cancersucks.org

Justin Bieber

Yes, we all know this young superstar currently sweeping the nation and many girls off their feet with his super awesome love songs and rocking music videos that portray his beautifulness. okay, he may only be 13 but he's quite attractive for his age and his voice is so cute and little. Yeah it's probably true that he hasn't hit puberty quite yet, but who cares? with a voice like his, I'd date him in a heartbeat. anyways, me and Kylee are sitting here listening to his songs like "Never Let you go", "Baby", and "One Time". He makes our hearts melt. He sings to girls in his music videos. I want to be one of those girls. And then that also got us to thinking that our love lifes suck because they're non-existent. So we've decided that Justin Bieber is our new boyfriend and we want a guy just like him. There's this boy that I know by the name of Brady Randy who seriously looks like a mixture of Justin Bieber and Ryan Scheckler and he's probably one of the cutest boys I've ever met in my entire life. And currently we're in the "talking stage" as teens like to refer to it as. Anyways, I'm getting really off topic because my main topic in this blog was to talk about Justin Bieber and how he is my love. Sometimes I wonder if he writes his own songs, I hope he does. Second off, I wonder if he really experiences the things that his song portrayals. In some of his music videos, he's singing to girls and crying that they're gone or happy that they're there. Is it possible for someone his age to have already gone through a number of relationships equivalent to me? Yeah probably. I wonder if he actually has a girlfriend. It'd be nice to know if I ever have a chance with him, besides that being a little pedafileish of me. There's this new contest where you can win a private, backstage concert with him. He could honestly melt my heart away if he sang to me. Is that my type? Do I like the rockstar looking guys? It's pretty possible. If some guy sang to me, playing his guitar, like any other girl I'd freak about but the music type person is really not for me. But that's okay, I'll make some exceptions for Mr. Bieber. So Justin if you're out there and reading this, pick me for the concert, I promise I won't dissapoint!

P.S.-I guess there was an internet rumor that he died?!?!?!?!?!?!!? Don't worry folks, it was all a fake just because he hasn't been on his twitter in 14 hours?! Let the kid rest guys. It's seriously 14 hours. haha.

My Frustrations

Several things currently upsetting me.....


1) So we've been using this program called Google Docs for our class essays this term. It's a relatively new and easy program to use and thus far, I've been pretty happy about it. Until I attempted editing one of my class mates essays and found it impossible to keep the same font color. This means that everytime I want to make a comment I have to go up and click different font color and if I think about what I want to say too long, it goes back to being the same black color. It's frustrating, time consuming, and it really pisses me off. It probably adds an extra like 20 minutes to the editing process. Yeah, gay. But I guess now you can insert comments, so hopefully, fingers crossed, things will be lots easier for me.

2) Shady ass friends. It's impossible to believe my supposed "best friend" talks probably every rumor I hear about myself. I don't even know what to say or do or confront her or what. She denies it. She acts like nothing is wrong and really, lots of things are wrong with it. I can't trust her, first off, and second off she's just been a b***h to everyone. Whatever, so over it.

3) My job sucks monkey butt. I work like 20 hours a week, yeah gay I know but I've been attempting to save up for my trip to Florida in June. On Monday I worked and didn't feel good, puked at work, and my gay manager still wouldn't let me go home. I swear I could be dying there and they'd still make me work. Plus, they yell at me when I do my hw there or read but it's so boring and there's never anything for me to do so I'm not sure what they expect me to do. Plus, they keep telling me to read up on our rewards program and get it figured out so I can tell people more about it. Okay, you go to www.officemax.com and see if you can figure it out, it's frickin impossible.

4) I had to pay for my own prom dress. Okay, yeah it was only 27 dollars but when times are tough, hours being cut at work, and me trying to save every penny for Florida, I really shouldn't have to pay for a dress. Especially when it was only 27 dollars. So, I've decided I'm getting really nice shoes for it. That should make up for me paying for it.

5) My grade in AP Lang is a D and is bringing my grade point average down to about a 3.5. Not acceptable for a 4.1 student. So Ayers, I would really suggest doing something that could give our grades a boost. I know it may be a bit too much ask but if you could give us some participation points, anything, that'd be great! Thanks!

6)So friday, I had to stay home all night because I had the ACT in the morning so I didn't get to do anything with my friends at all. Then, Saturday I worked til 8 and got to go out for like 3 hours tops and it was a gay night. And now I guess I have to babysit Saturday night, when I work Friday night also. So FML.

7) My boys basketball squad for cheerleading is a joke. We have three flyers and three bases. how do they expect us to make that work? There's three of us always doing the work, three always going up in the air, it's gonna suck so I'm looking for a change there and also a change in the coaches cause I hate them.

8) I just realized I'm out of lunch money. It's bow tie pasta today. That's my favorite. Dangit, I can't eat. I'm gonna mooch off someone.

VOTE 4 ME!

So, today as we were sitting in AP US History, discussing random things, speeches came on our television for student government office positions next year. The usual "leaders" of our class are in fact attempting to hold the offices for student government. President: Amy Hanson. No surprise there. She's been the class president the past three years, she runs for every office, she's the perfect child as I like to refer to her as. And I mean no satire in there. So, it didn't surprise me. However, then Sydney brought to everyone's attention that that means we have to have a new class president because, as the rules state, Amy can't hold both offices. Now, I don't think I've ever told you that I was the secretary of our class when I was a freshman and was defeated sophomore year, losing by one vote. But, since then, I haven't run again just because I don't want to go up against someone super smart again and lose. It's embarrassing, it sucks, and I just don't feel like putting myself through that. That being said, when Sydney made this comment I didn't think anything of it, simply because I decided a while ago I wasn't going to set my self up for disaster anymore. But then, Sydney makes a comment to me that I should run for class president. I laugh it off, instinctively, saying that it's pretty propostorous that I would do that and then it got me thinking: maybe I really should. I'm good at leadership positions, Ihave lots of good ideas, and I'm good at incorporating others opinions into it. Plus, the biggest job for this year will be Prom and god knows I could do lots with that. Hell, this will be my second year going and it's a senior prom. I've been to them, I know what it's like, and I feel like I could make ours a memorable night for all. That's why, I've decided, that I'm going to run for class president. Yes, this means that I have to give a speech shown to the entire school but hey that's okay, I can handle it. I've done it before and I'll do it again. So anyways, VOTE FOR KIONA FOR 2011 CLASS PRESIDENT :)

ACT?

ACT.



Just the acronym gives a bit of the shivers. Why? Perhaps because it determines the fate of my success in applying at colleges, perhaps because it only means the world to my mother and father to do well on it, perhaps because there's possibility that if I do bad, I could end up in no college, living on the streets, as a hobo, lifeless, collecting plastic cans and using newspaper as means of a blanket. Okay, maybe that's a bit overboard, perhaps a little insane but the ACT means alot alot alot. Mostly to my parents, but also to me. The ACT is a standardized test that tests your knowledge on subjects like english, math, reading, and science all in one. The ACT can be scored from a 1-36, and it is possible to get a perfect. A good score, I'd say, is a 30, and I'm hoping to meet or even excel that goal. I've been doing several things to get myself prepared: I've been reading some books, practicing math problems, and reviewing my science notes from previous years, but the most important thing I've done to prepare myself is taken the practice test questions to the ACT website: www.act.org. This website has been like an online study guide for me. I've practiced each of the sets of questions multiple times. It's good to say that I initially got a majority of the answers right my first time but even better that I read through why I got them wrong several times to understand what I was doing wrong and make sure I don't make the same mistake when practicing or on the test. Tonight is Friday, the night before the exam, and I'm pretty nervous. I got some fuel food for the morning however. Like toast, a banana, and an egg because it's full of protein, potassium, and the fuel I need to keep my brain working for a couple hours at 8 am in the morning. Yeah I know it sucks having to wake up that early on a Saturday morning and even worse that it's at school but I'm actually just ready to get it done and over with. Once I'm done with this, I can focus on studying for my AP exams which are coming up just around the corner, which I've discussed with you previously. Anyways, tonight all I have on the agenda is studying, eating, studying, cheer tryouts, eating, studying, sleep. All in that order. No, I'm not going out despite the fact that it is a Friday night, a weekend night, instead I am what some people may call cramming but I generally call reviewing and preparing. For me, this feels just right and what I plan on doing the remainder of the evening. So while all you other cool cats are out there painting the town red, I'm sitting at a home like a good little student attaching my eyes to a 10 by 10 screen, answering test questions, OH JOY.

One, Two, Three

"Success is a journey, not a destination."

--Ben Sweetland

I use this quote because I view these tests not as destinations, but as journeys....
Today, I registered for not one, not two, but THREE AP Exams that I'll be taking in just one short month. First of all, It's amazing to think about how quick this year has come along to its culmination and it's weird to think that just eight short months ago I was beginning my junior year of high school. But perhaps the scariest thing is that next year I will be a senior in high school and thinking about what college I plan to attend. But let's not dwell upon the scary things, instead I'll focus on three main things: Ap Language Exam, AP Psychology Exam, and AP US History Exam.

First and foremost, I'll discuss my feelings about taking AP Lang. exam since blogging principally deals with this class. Over the year, we've learned a vast amount about composition of language. We've discussed things like: tone, syntax, and semantics. We've read several essays and composures by authors from the past and authors of the present and we've discussed the meanings, the purpose, the views, the arguments, the persuasion, comprehension, basically everything you need to know AND MORE about essays and reading in general. We've written a couple essays, done a couple projects, and written alot of notebook entries. Overall, I think I've benefited from this class and formed reading habits essential for college level classes I'll be in next year. The exam, however, brings me a little grief considering I've either failed or almost failed all of the in class essays we've taken, and failed or almost failed all the multiple choice questions we've taken. I plan on practing these a bit more by finding a copy of an old test online and perhaps going to Barnes & Noble and getting what's called a "POWERPACK". I get this almost every year for the exam I plan on taking and it includes: two full length tests, study plan, large timeline, and 2,000 flashcards going over terms and concepts of the class. They are usually very beneficial to me and I learn alot by using these so hopefully, fingers crossed, if I can buckle down and begin studying up on my terms, practicing essays, and reading a bit more for the reading comprehension section, I should be okay.

AP Psychology is probably the class I'm least worried about because the terms and concepts are relatively easy. My one issue is the chapter dealing with brain anatomy, because it's hard to remember everything and where things are in the brain, what the systems are, their functions, everything. That's why I found a diagram online that I printed out and have been studying. I also have a PowerPack for this class, have taken a couple practice exams, and this is the one book that I have actually read. I understand alot of the stuff, because it relates to me or is easy to relate to and therefore, this class brings me no worries.

AP U.S. History. There's much to say on this class. The past two years, I took AP history classes also, and recieved twos on the exams. History has never been a super easy subjet for me, but I figure there's nothing to figure out. It's just alot of memorization and grouping and what not. Plus, this year I was blessed to have Mr. Benedict as my teacher. While a funny guy, he knows when to get down to business. He gives us plenty of extra credit opportunities, he makes us keep up on study guides, lets us watch movies, and lectures in a fun and effective way. This year, I feel as though I finally have a chance on this exam because there's less material and more of it that I've learned. I've been preparing for this by reading this large packet that Benedict gave us, have been taking practice tests online, and attempting to go over my study guides.

All in all, it's going to be a long month I'm well aware. It's going to involve a lot of hard work and studying on my part, alot of Friday and Saturday nights home (okay, maybe just a few), and a lot alot alot alot ALOT of reviewing. I just have to keep at it and keep my goals in mind for the future. I think I can pass all these exams if I put my mind to it. In fact, I know I can!

Thunderstorms!

I'm currently freaking out right about now, because there's a huge thunderstorm happening in Cedar Rapids at the moment. I've not only been listening to thunder booming for the past twenty minutes, seen lightning brighter than white, but listening to my sisters scream and my dog cry. You can tell I come from a family who HATES thunderstorms. It's natural for people to be scared of thunder, in fact it's one of the most common phobias the world knows (according to my AP Psychology book). And likewise for me, I dislike and in fact dread them alot. This dreadful day of doom started at precisely 10 AM this morning when I first realized it was raining hardcore outside. But that's after the fact that it was wet outside and smelled like worms, yuck! Anyways, the weather was all sorts of whack today. It was rainy and cold when I got out of bed this morning so I dressed for the occasion in a sweatshirt and jeans, but when I got out of school the sun was shining, it was probably 70 degrees, and I was sweating my booty off in just my tshirt and jeans. I went tanning, came home, did homework, got ready for cheer tryout clinics, and went. I got there, worked for about an hour and at 6:30 happened to peer outside to see the sky pitch black. I was a little bit freaked out, but I didn't allow myself to panic until I realized the other girls in the gym were panicing. What scared me the most was that once they dismissed us, and I was walking to my car, the sirens started going off. I can tell you I jumped a bit and my heart skipped a couple beats because I was outside during a siren. Sirens usually mean really bad storms are about to hit and therefore advise people to go inside to a safe shelter, not near windows. So being outside during one of these wasn't one of the most comforting thoughts in the world. Anyways, I ran to my car, blithering like the other people surrounding me, jumped in, and sped home. It was funny going down 42nd street, watching cars hit probably 60 miles an hour in a 35 mile hour zone, and even funnier that a cop was driving and not pulling anyone over for this because he too wanted to get home. So, I got home just in time for the sirens to stop and everyone in my household to return to a sense of normalcy. But, as I sat down to start doing my homework, I saw the bright lights followed by the rumbling and I immediately stiffened up a bit. I've been working hard at my homework for the last two hours, attempting to study and blog and what not, while my computer is located next to a central window in the house. The laptop and my seat have shaken a couple times, as well as the entire house. It seems to me when thunderstorms roll around, things get all out of whack. I can't concentrate. I can't sit still. I want it to all be over with, but the noises and the rumbling and the lights, it doesn't stop. Maybe that's why I hate thunderstorms: they're too powerful. Either way, I'm getting scareder and scareder by the moments I pass writing this blog and watching the storm through the window, so I'm going to sleep it all away, and when I wake up there will be beautiful rays of sunshine.

Easter Sunday

We all love egg hunts, whether we like to admit it or not. Even in my grown teenage years, I love the annual egg hunt our family does every Easter Sunday. Because it gives me a chance to feel like a kid again and I'll take any of those opportunities as they come knocking. Anyways, this Easter Sunday is a bit more complicated than most, mainly because I'm split between two family gatherings. It's not always easy trying to fit in a couple Christmases and holidays and what not, being in a family with my mother and step father and being in a family with my real father and his side of the family, but I've always learned to manage. This time, however, things aren't so simple. With my step-dad's Easter today, I knew I wasn't going to make it and that's because I have to work at two. So unfortunately, I'm missing one. Then, tomorrow, I can either go to my real dad's side of the family's Easter or my mother's side of the family's Easter. I know that each of my families love me unconditionally and they will be happy with whatever decision I make, but it's so hard to choose! I don't want any of the members of either family feel as though I don't love them and I mean of course it's not a matter of who I love more, it's just what I feel is best for me. That's why I've made my decision to stay with my family and go to my mother's side of the family's Easter. This is because 1) I'm alot closer with this side of the family, 2) I haven't seen alot of them in a while 3) I have alot of fun when I'm at my Grandma's. It's not like any of these reasons aren't true for my dad's side, but I do see them because they all live relatively close. Well, closer than my Grandma's and I see my cousin almost twice a week because we work at the same place and also because my dad, my real one, is a complete dickhole as I may have previously mentioned and I just don't feel like spending a day being around him. I know that's harsh and rude but it's just the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. I'd rather be away from him for as long as possible until I've come to terms with the fact that he'll never be the father I always wanted and needed. He was supposed to get me shoes for my birthday and we still haven't even gotten them. Plus, he owes me $50 from Christmas that he NEVER gave me. So basically, I just don't wanna deal with him. And he'd be all lovey-dovey and that's just not me, especially not with him. Anyways, I'm excited either way for tomorrow and wearing my easter best. Haha okay kidding because I treat Easter like Christmas and wear sweats and what not. But I'm also most excited for the Easter Egg Hunt! Now if you'll excuse me, I hear some coloring eggs time calling my name!

PROM

So last year, I had a somewhat-wonderful somewhat-awful experience at Prom. First off, I was only a sophomore and at our school it's a senior-only prom unless you get asked by a senior. I wasn't super good friends with any of the seniors, I mean I knew a couple and I was close friends with a boy named Tyler Auman (which I have referred to in the past blogs), whom surprisingly asked me to Prom. I was super pumped and knew that I would have a good time with him. However, I broke my ankle like a week before so I ended up on crutches for the night, which is why it was somewhat awful. I tried my best to not let it get to me and I perservered and ended up having a decent night despite what had happened. Anyways, this year I also didn't think I would get asked to Prom. I mean, sure I'm friends with more of the seniors then I was last year, but still not any close friendships like the one I had with Tyler, but just general friends with alot of them. Of course I've got some haters out there, aka some senior girls who just don't like the fact that alot of the senior guys may be somewhat attracted to me. Who cares? I've never really let it get to me much, because after all it just looks better for me to be the mature one, especially when they're the older ones. Anyways, my point is: I got asked to Prom again this year. It was by Kevin Moore and while it didn't match up to quite the level Ty had got on by asking me it was still pretty cute. Kevin and I have been good friends since freshman year. We talked somewhat then, but we decided being friends was better for the both of us. While me and Kev have grown apart the past couple years, I still consider him a good friend and apparently he feels the same about me too, since he asked but he asked by putting a sign in my locker that says: Kiona, PROM? -Kevin. I was super surprised and very excited and immediately said yes but then I started thinking and I've got ALOT of work to do in just one short month. I have to get a dress, go tanning, get my hair done (which by the way I cut short so Idk how that's gonna work), and get shoes! It's alot on my plate if you ask me, especially because the next month or so I need to be working hard to pass my 3 AP exams, but I think I'll be okay. I'm pumped anyway though for Prom, but I have to go because dress shopping is calling my name!

Here's a link to a place that I plan on getting my prom dress at:

www.debs.com

Who wears short shorts?

I am all for the 80 degree weather currently sun-bathing my pasty-white skin. I am even enjoying the sweat now being perspirated every couple hours, one thing however that I'm not loving about this summery weather, is short shorts. Yes, it's proven true that most girls love to wear these and I'll admit in the past I have loved wearing them. However, with my body growing at a rate larger than life (or at least that's the way I feel), I HATE wearing short shorts because they expose the nasty fat that I've been accumulating the past couple months. My legs are a big problem area on my body. I like to refer them as thunder thighs because they literally shake every time I walk. Gross right? Yeah I think so too. I have generally large thighs, alot of which is muscle, but also a lot of it is fat. When I wear short shorts the end of them end up cutting off half the circulation in my legs and more over exposing more of the fat cells in my legs. I feel sick when I put them on and worse off, it squeezes my hips and exposes what I refer to as love handles. Love handles are what I "lovingly" call the extra fat accumulated on my hips. They are disgusting because when wearing tight pants I look like I have extra hips on top of my hips and I'm thinking that's not the cutest thing. The next thing that really bothers me about my body is my stomach in the middle. I have at least an inch of it. I was taught in elementary school that if you can grab more than a little teeny bit of your stomach, then you needed to work harder in gym: aka our teacher was telling us we were fat. well, not only can I grab a teeny bit but I can grab about ten times of that. It's pretty sick if you ask me!! Next is my arms. The stuff that hangs off of my muscles, which is on the underneath, is super exposed in dresses which isn't technically good because it looks kinda sick with tank tops usually worn in summer. So coool. And finally, the last issue is my double chin. I feel as though when I smile I look like I have a million chins. Okay, not literally but I have some extra chicken gobbler under my chin and I feel like it makes me appear even bigger than I already am. I just altogether HATE my body. Not myself, because I tend to keep myself in a high regard, but my body just is pretty nasty. I will admit I haven't been working super hard on fitness, because I figure I'll just catch up when it's closer to summer. But guess what? Summer weather is here and I'm still fat. So, it's time to kick into high gear. I've been trying to watch what I eat. I usually eat fibery type cereal for breakfast, a can of enviga (a calorie burner sparkling green tea beverage), I allow myself to eat a meal at school because you can't really be healthy here, and a granola bar and maybe some Special K cereal or turkey or something for dinner. I've also been running after school everyday, and try to do circuit training twice a week. Circuit training is where you do a bunch of small stuff with a lot of repetitions. I usually do lunges, squats, crunches, push ups, planks, etc. with weights with 20 reps a piece until I get through about five or six exercises, give myself a 30 second-1 minute break and then back at it. I repeat this about five or six times. My manager at work was actually the one who helped me start this and actually tomorrow, I plan on joining a local gym with a friend and hopefully work out at least 3 times a week and maybe, just maybe, if I work hard enough and push myself, I can have the body I want in about two months, aka when I leave for Florida and aka when summer starts, then I can get me a man. Haha okay honestly I'm not too worried about that but uhhh yeahh I would rather do it for myself. I owe it to myself. It will boost my self-confidence and help my self-esteem. Plus, I'll be forming habits that I can carry on to college and into life itself. Anyways, today I'm wearing short shorts in an effort to make myself feel so humiliated that I force myself to work even harder. It's a real confidence booster though when people tell me my legs look good. Lying? Yeah, I think so too. Oh well. Anyways, sometimes when I feel super fat I remind myself I'm blessed to not be unhealthy or overweight, extremely obese, or having to prepare for bypass gas surgery. Here's a pic of someone, while I feel bad, makes me feel better about myself:

Preparation

"If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the
situation he has prepared for."

-Florence Scovel Shinn

Preparation is key, as my mother always told me. It's not about knowing what to do, it's about how you get there. For me, being prepared is one of the most important things in life because it has the chance, in essence, to make or break me. That's why I've always found it necessary to continually organize and prepare myself. I do this by keeping a planner and using it continually, by keeping a mental schedule, by working ahead on homework, by keeping myself in-line and self-discipline to get my goals accomplished and by never losing site of what I long to become: a pediatrician. If I keep my goals in reasonable reaching distance, then I can truly achieve. If I set my goals too high, I know that they're harder to reach. But I also know that if I set my goals too low, I can never get what I've earned. That's why I've set my goals within reach, not too high, not too low, at just the right amount. I've also learned to take constructive criticism and work with it. I used to be so stubborn and strong-willed, I know that I'm not ever going to lose that sense of me, but I've also learned to deal with it. Not everyone is going to like what I'm about or who I am and I have to learn to take that and run with it. I can try as hard as I can to be the best person I can be and if people don't accept that, then I just have to live. Forgive and forget, is best for me. And to live and to learn. I guess I'm writing this post more because I've come to some self-realization: I am me. Love me or hate me; that is the question. But the answer, for me, is okay either way. I've become myself and will reach my goals through preparation. That is all.

Birthday :)

COUNTDOWN: 3 DAYS :):):):):):):):) Officially, in three days, I will be seventeen years old!! No big deal or anything especially since I'm not even getting any presents, but it's still another step up in this world. Being seventeen I can now: go to rated R movies, rent pornography, and get my full license. WOOHOO. Just kidding. Literally, none of that stuff applies to me really. I've always been able to go to rated R movies or at least for a year or so now, because I look old enough so I never get I.D.ed at the movie theaters, not that I ever go to movies because I honestly don't. Secondly, I'm not some psycho sex fanatic nor have I ever had any interest in watching pornography, so I don't plan on renting it anytime soon. And lastly, I got a speeding ticket last June when I was sixteen so that means I have to wait a full year from that day to get my full license. Aka: I can't get it until June. And, as I stated before, I'm not getting any presents, well at least not NOW. My present for my birthday is going to Florida for eleven days in June with my best friend in the world, Cassie. So, my parents already booked my flight for there and back, and after $300, decided that that was a sufficient birthday present and to me, I agree, it's the best. It just sucks waiting for it. Espescially since I'm all hyped up at the fact that it's my birthday and usually you get presents on your birthday. So yeah it's going to take a little while for me to get used to the fact that I'm not getting squat right now, but I plan on having a good day anyways. I'm gonna hang out with friends, hit up some parties, and just embrace the last moments I'll have being sixteen. The biggest significance of turning seventeen for me is just showing I'm one step closer to leaving high school. I guess I have mixed feelings about that right now. I mean I like school, don't get me wrong. I love my friends, my teachers, and even most of my classes and I don't mind the workload that much, but it's the stupid stuff like little high school drama and what not that makes me so incredibly happy to almost be entering my senior year, to almost be on top, and then to be into my college years and eventually into a successful career and life. It's nice to think about. But as for now, I've got to embrace the time I do have in high school. Go to as many sports games, festivals, shows, concerts, and what nots I can. I want to enjoy the dance this year and look forward to my last two dances next year. But most importantly, I want to

enjoy my last few days of being a young little sixteen year old before I mature into seventeen years old. Okay, maybe it's not that big of a deal but I mean come on, whose gonna not get hyped up about their birthday? That's right. So Sunday, March 21, make sure to wish Kiona Rolfes a Happy 17th Birthday :) Please and thank you!

WPA

WPA. For those of you who don't know what it stands for, WPA means Women Pay All. It's a dance that our school hosts each year during the month of March and it's a little less formal than Homecoming. High school dances have always been fun for me. I love getting all dressed up. I love wearing dresses. I love getting my hair done. I love being tan. I love going out to eat with a huge group. I love wearing a corsage. I love pictures. I love dancing all night long. Everything about a dance makes me happy and WPA is just another one of those dances that I love. This year, I'm taking my neighbor Cody and I'm pretty pumped about it because we're just friends. You see, the past couple years I always took someone I was talking to, or a boy that I liked but this year I decided to take my neighbor for two reasons. One, because he has never been to a school dance and as much as he hates to admit it, I think he regrets not going to any dances and he really wants to go to one. Second, because we're neighbors and JUST friends and so I know there's no pressure for us about becoming something more after the dance. Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you when I first asked Cody I maybe had a teeny crush on him but I've realized that I do truly just want our friendship to stay the way it is. In the future, maybe there's potential but for right now my life is solid with just his friendship. I feel kind of bad though, because I think he misinterpretated me asking him as a sign of me liking him. But, after talking to his friends and what not I think he got the picture that being just friends was what I wanted, and eventually now I think he's okay with it. I'm really excited though because my dress is super gorgeous. Now, usually my dresses are super gorgeous anyways but this one is in top three for sure! It's white and has sparkly sequins at the top, a satin strip of white in the middle, and ruffles all the way down to my knees in white. There's a picture of it above, but that one is the black version. Anyways, I have super tall high heels, cus Cody towers over me, and some cute earrings, bracelet, and ring! I think I'm getting my hair done at Cost Cutters and just wearing it curled and down. We're getting pictures and eating dinner at Elmcrest Country Club, in a big group of people that both Cody and I are friends with. I'm excited to see the other girls dresses and even more excited for pictures. I already told you about my spray tan, and I have to either get a french manicure or just paint them silver. I don't know yet. I'm super excited!! And now I'm rambling and I ought to get my other work done so I'll talk to you all later :)

Spray Tan

Normally, I'm pretty pro-tanning. I don't think it's too harmful to occasionally step inside a tanning bed and touch up the pasty skin. I don't think I'm going to die from it, develop skin cancer, or get a disease. I think it's not only a self-confidence booster but it makes me feel a hell of a lot prettier. I hate how fakely tan some girls can get, so that's why I only use it on occasion. Plus, as I'm sure you know it costs money for minutes and with my skin type, I usually have to use alot of minutes anyways to get any results so hence, I use the time I do buy wisely. That being said, WPA is just around the corner. Okay, now literally it's two days away but a week or so ago when I began stressing about the issue that my dress is white and body being white matching that just wouldn't do, I didn't think a week would be enough time to get to the ungodly tan I wanted to be for the dance. Normally, I go tanning for about three weeks before a dance that way I have a solid base tan, and then the week before I go almost everyday to get a nice, good color that looks awesome for dances. This year, I just honestly wasn't thinking ahead and did nothing about it. Knowing that I was leaving for Florida, however, I didn't think much of it and decided the tan I got in Florida would probably be sufficient enough. However, I seemed to have missed the fact that Florida isn't ALWAYS sunny, despite it's preconcieved notions of being the sunniest place on Earth. So, it rained nearly 2/3 of the time I spent down there, and needless to say I came back with little, if any, added color to my skin. Now, it was time for panic mode as the day for WPA doomed closer and closer, and still my body was not the color I wanted it to be. As the saying goes,

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

I was thinking my only options were to go in to my tanning place, buy a shit ton of minutes, and go tanning every single day for the next four days that I had until the dance. However, I knew that not only would this cost me probably $40 (tanning minute prices are crazy these days, I tell ya), but it still wouldn't get me to the color I wanted to be. So what's a girl to do? I needed a quick fix tan and fast. So, I ended up coming to the conclusion of getting a spray tan. A spray tan is exactly how it sounds. You stand in a tanning bed and let this bronzer-looking substance spray all over your body for about five minutes and VOILA you have beautifully tan skin in a matter of minutes that lasts 7-10 days. I'll admit I was a bit skeptical to get one just because my first one I got freshman year was a disaster. The tanning place didn't know how to work the machine and I ended up being sprayed with water a couple times before I got the orange, nasty look that it gave me. I wasn't impressed nor pleased with the results, and that's why until now I had completely banned them from my tanning scene. But as the saying goes, I needed it to be done. So, I took a chance. I went to a place called TanWorld, known for there great tanning beds and lotions and got a spray tan there. Not only am I satisfied with my color, but I smell good (thanks to adding drops of coconut lime scent to the mixture), and look good too! The color turned out fantastically. No streaks, no anything. Just beautiful and bronze. Now, I can't WAIT for WPA to be here already. I'm super excited! So for girls out there having issues with tanning, try a spray tan out. I'd recommend TanWorld.

Make Up Work=DEATH

I HATE MAKE UP WORK! It's death to my entire life. No joke. Not only am I drowning in homework that has to be made up from the three and a half days I was gone from school, but the teachers decide to work at a rapid pace to get us to some point they'd like us to get to before Spring Break, and they're piling on the tests and work all together. Now usually, I'm a pretty good student. I told my teachers well in advance and got most of my make up work for when I was going to be gone and I thought I'd get a majority of it done on the nationals bus. Unfortunately, I underestimated the fact that the bus is super uncomfortable and bumpy, hard to see in it, and the noise level was obviously at an all time high except for at night time. So, I didn't get as much as I had planned on done on the buses not a big deal because I thought I was going to be staying home from school tuesday. Keyword: thought. You see last year when I got back from Nationals, around 8 PM, I was completely exhausted and wanted nothing but sleep. My parents let me sleep in and when I woke up I got to spend the day recovering and doing the homework I didn't get done. So I assumed this year would be the exact same, obviously I was wrong. This year, we got home at about 730 PM. I got home, still exhausted, and went to bed after a little time chit chatting with the family. I went to sleep without setting my alarm because I assumed I'd be sleeping the day away. Anyways, my mom came in at about 630 AM to see what time I wanted to wake up for school. I laughed because I thought it was a complete joke. I thought she knew I was sleeping in for a while and then I'd eventually get up and do all my homework. But she thought it was just absurd that I was going to be staying home so she preceeded to get my father to come in and yell at me for being irresponsible and not going to school. So, despite the fact that I had close to none of my make up work done, I went to school at 11 am and attended all but two of my classes. Then, I got the pleasure of working all night and coming home and staying up until 1230 am trying to get just half of the work done, most of which failed and was very unsuccessful. So anyways, now I'm desperately scrambling, two nights before spring break, to get myself caught up in all my classes and thus far, it's going shitty. I thought I'd take a break and get my mind off school for a while by writing this blog but instead it's taunting me, telling me to go get my homework done!! So, I'm going to go study for some tests and quizzes that I hopefully don't completely bomb tomorrow.

PEACE.


P.s....................................................................................
Listening to music helps me get in focus when I do my hw.
Go to www.youtube.com and type in any song you want to hear. I guarantee you'll be happy.

POP CENTURY-Remember When....

So, Nationals 2010 is officially over. Yep, that's right. finished. Home from Florida. Back to hell. Yeah, i'm sure you all get it. Wanna know how we did? Well, let's see. Ask the judges what they prefer: slutty shimmies, wild hair flips, or embarrasssing sweeping the floor motions? They'll apparently answer all of the above AND MORE. So basically, Iowa Elite Senior Coed was undefeated all season right? Right. We never once got anything less than first place and we rocked the shit out of every competition, getting grand champs at all but two. I'm blesssed to be on such an awesome cheerleading team. Now I know I wasn't expecting to get first at nationals (okay maybe I was), but I was expecting to get better than 8th out of 12. But guess what? We didn't sell our routine enough for the judges apparently, because the teams ahead of us, while lacking in skill didn't lack in the area of cockiness but it was more than just that it was downright, absurd, we run this shit routines. It was horrifying watching other teams being placed in front of us, especially when we've worked our aces off to get here. Not saying that any of the other cheer teams there didn't work just as hard as we did, but I felt like we really deserved more than what we got. This year we took down the most tumbling we ever have. That's the amount of flips in the routine. Then, we have the largest team we've ever had going down there too. Well, tied with last years but this year with much more talent. And we also brought down what I thought was the absolute best routine I have ever seen in a very long time from us. It's little to say that I'm bummed, I'm pissed off, yeah I'll admit it. But not because we got eighth. Well okay yes because of that but because I don't understand it. If I thought the other teams that beat us deserved the spots they got, I'd be okay with it. If I knew our routine difficulty level and skill was nowhere near the others I'd get it then too but what upsets me the most is that our routine was just as difficult and more often than not, more difficult than the other teams in our division. We had over seven flyers in the air at the same time hitting the same skills. We had a killer pyramid, awesome dismounts, and super flexibility with our flyers. We had so many flips you couldn't count 'em all. The first place team had ten all together. But what we didn't have enough of, I guess, was cockiness. We knew this the first day we competed as the judges pre-ranked us. So, we took the advice, added the stuff that made us look like the other teams (the shimmies, the hair flips, the sweeping the floor motions: all ridiculous I'm well aware), and we STILL placed eighth. Our routines were perfection. We had one minor flaw the first day and a bigger than minor flaw the second day so I knew enough not to expect first but eighth, come on 8th!??!?! Might as well just hand back the trophy and say goodbye to the judges. We all decided to let our emotions run wild Sunday night after competing, we cried as a team, we talked as a team, and for the first time ever I finally felt like we all truly were a team. It was the best. At those moments in time, nothing mattered anymore but being together. We ended up trashing our trophy on the bus ride home. We covered it in silly string, put garbage all over it, wrote our names on it, made it look like crap and you wanna know what? We had the funnest time doing it! We didn't care anymore about getting eighth place, we knew, no matter what the judges said, that we deserved ALOT more than what we got. But oh well I guess, there's always next year. Then again though, that's my last year to win one of those ugly national champion black jackets I've wanted for sooooooo long!!!! WE MUST WIN :)

Here's a link to watch our routine down at Nationals. While looking, take a quick peak at the other large senior coed level 3 teams, and see how you'd rank them, and let me know!!! Maybe you'll choose the way we did and put Iowa Elite in top three:)

www.varsity.com

In Preparation

Countdown: 2 DAYS!!!!!!!! That's right. Just two. Forty eight hours. I'm so excited! And in case you absent-mindedly forgot what is in two days (It's okay, I'll forgive you just this once), I'm leaving for Orlando, Florida for cheerleading nationals. We had our last practice yesterday and it went really well and it makes me even more pumped because we nailed all of our run-throughs. I felt bad though because all of our seniors were crying at the end. Our very last routine was the best out of all of them and even though it was the last time we would ever perform in our own home gym with this AMAZING team, things for me weren't as sad as I expected them. You should probably know first off that I'm a pretty emotional person (inherited from my mother) and I cry at almost everything so I assumed I would be waterworks also. But, I just couldn't cry and that's a good thing. I was so happy, there wasn't room for tears because when I think about the season this team has had, I can't help but smile. We've gotten first at every single competition we've been too and grand champs at all but two. We've rocked the score sheets, we've acquired some screaming fans, and we've grown closer as a family and a team. I would give anything for anyone of my teammates, I love them all and even though the season is coming to an end alot of the friendships I have made will last a lifetime. But enough with all the gooey crap, it's time for me to tell you all about preparing for my second trip to the sunniest place on Earth.

Last year, was my first year there and I had no idea what to expect so I packed practically my entire wardrobe, and then some. This year, I know that I'm probably not going to need more than a good solid five outfits, most of which consist of t-shirts, soffee shorts, sweatshirt, sweatpants, and a pair of jean shorts. But I'm also going to be bringing more: hairspray, bobby pins, hair ties, make up, socks, underwear, etc. I also have to have an extensive collection of food for the 23 hour bus ride (yuckk!) and for my roomies. I am blessed to have an awesome group of roommates: Chelsea, Kassiani, and Laura all of whom I'm really close friends with both in and outside of cheerleading. I guess it makes me even more happy about going up there! Anyways, for food I plan on bringing: peanut butter M&M's, Chips Ahoy chewy cookies, Granola bars, strawberries, juicy juice juice boxes, goldfish, fruit snacks, Vitamin water, chips, pretzels, and money for fast food on the way up and back. I plan on packing everything in my closet that's black, orange, and green and Iowa Elite related. I have to bring lots of money for food there and for nationals clothing!! That's probably the best part of it all is getting to go shopping at the clothing store for cheerleading nationals because there's soo much stuff it's impossible not to find a million things and more that you want! Plus, I have $50 of my own secret stash that my rents don't know about that I plan on taking with me to spend on clothing since last year I was conservative and didn't spend alot on clothes, but now I'm gonna!!

Anyways, I'm doing alot of rambling with this blog. Most of which, needs to stop because I'm going to be leaving class in about five minutes. So I guess I'll conclude with our team quote which is also placed on our nationals t-shirts, which has stayed true our entire season. Oh, and please wish us GOOD LUCK!:)

"A dream is a wish your heart makes...it takes the strength of a team to accomplish a dream."

PERIOD.

I hate maturity. I hate the female menstrual cycle. OK, I'll be blunt I HATE PERIODS. I dread the day of the month my period arrives and cannot wait until the day it will end. Then, it's a month of bliss and in another month I get the distress of having to go through it all over again. It's times like these that I wish I was a boy. I know that with my period, comes many things and I'm sure other girls can relate to how I feel too. Anyways, today as you may have guessed it I started my period. I crave everything. I love chocolate when I have my period, so I usually have to find it anywhere in my house. Today, I found a granola bar in my room. I don't want to know where it came from or how long it's been there but hey it was fudge dipped and I snarfed it down. Other things I crave are weird. Today at lunch I craved cake. I usually HATE cake but it looked so good I just had to eat it. It's weird because all my cravings tend to be higher calorie foods, alright they're usually sweets. I don't know how to get rid of it either, but it always happens and I end up wasting money on this kind of stuff. Next with my period, comes the bloated feelings. I know that I'm supposed to feel bloated but when I'm on my period I feel downright fat. Suddenly, every curve of my body is an ounce of gross fat. I don't like wearing tight shirts or tight pants because they just expose what doesn't need to be seen. When I'm down about this, it doesn't make anything better coming home and eating more. Anyways, the next thing with my period is my mood. I'm always angry and in a really bad mood when I'm on my period and it sucks. I feel bad because I make a big deal out of nothing and usually end up taking stuff out on the people around me like my family and friends. I freaked on my mom today for making me go get the groceries out of the car, how dumb am I? My hormones feel so out of whack cus then I'll apologize and then, I started crying because of a test I took today. I don't even understand if this is normal. I get that my symptoms are pretty normal, but sometimes they feel to the extreme! I think I'm going to see my doctor the next time I start acting up due to my period. But can somebody please offer me some advice? Am I just exaggerating the symptoms and making a big deal out of nothing? Or is there something wrong with my menstrual cycle?! Help me Please!!


Wanna watch some chick freak out about her period?!? It'lll give you some chuckles:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga21RAQop8U

College Relationships

I'm not an expert on relationships. I don't have the best advice, can't tell you what to do during certain situations, or even tell you about the best date I've had. I don't have the experience, first off. And second off, I've been in like one serious relationship my entire life and I swore I was in love and that's about it. You know those first true high school relationships, yeah that's exactly what mine was. But; like all high school relationships those things come to an end and they're definitely not your happily ever after. I've heard better things about what's to come for my future relationships in college. They're more laid back, they're more fun, and they're longer lasting, or so I've heard. It's good to know that there are better results in future relationships, which is why I've chosen to write about them. One of my best friends my sophomore year of high school was a senior at our school last year. His name was Tyler Auman and it just so happens that we had somewhat of a relationship to our friendship. We both liked each other and we both knew it but we never acted on our feelings. As a result, I allowed Tyler to go off to college without experiencing what a relationship could be like with him and now that he's gone, I regret everyday I didn't stand up for the way I felt and just went for it because we really could have been something. I went to prom with Tyler last year and I had a blast. Over the summer, we somewhat drifted apart but we texted alot and stayed in touch. I visited him one last time before he left for college during the month of August. I brought him a framed picture of us from prom and wrote him a note too. I told him how much I loved him and how much I already missed him and that I promised, no matter the distance, we would stay close friends. When Ty and I began to say our goodbyes, there wasn't words to describe how sad the atmosphere was. We both knew how one another felt. We've talked about it several times and he knows that I have liked him and likewise, I knew the same. What hurt the most though, was that we did nothing about it. While we could have enjoyed the summer together, we wasted it on ourselves. While we could have been growing even closer, we allowed ourselves to drift apart. And while we knew we loved eachother, we didn't act upon it. So, that day of saying goodbye was extremely hurtful for both of us, especially when I was finally able to tell him how I felt. And when I did, it felt even worse because he told me how he felt too and practically matched. I know I should've been happy, but at the same time Icouldn't help but to cry. So, I did. After I left Tyler's house that day, I came home and cried. I cried because of what I had missed out on, I cried because of how I felt, and I cried because I didn't want to let go. Tyler had been my best friend, he was the one I always looked to for advice or just someone to talk to. And I never realized what he meant to me. I guess as the saying goes:

"You don't know what you got, til it's gone."

Fits my situation perfectly. I guess I really didn't know what I had, but now that he's away, I do. Anyways, me and Tyler still talk all the time. We're still as close as ever and we're more mature then we were. We both know that our feelings haven't changed. That I still love him, and that he still loves me but for the time being it just won't work out. He lives in Iowa City, that's thirty minutes away and when you think about it feels like forever away. I know that it wouldn't work out for the time being, and I don't want to risk what hopefully will be on trying to make it work on what could be right now so that's why we've decided to put off having a relationship until I enter college too. Because I want to go the University of Iowa like he does, it'll be alot easier to just wait until then. Because it's in two years maybe things will have changed. Either way, I know that being in college and having a relationship is going to be different than having a high school relationship. In high school, you spend your time at eachother's houses, in your basements, watching movies with your parents upstairs, maybe kissing, juvenile stuff really. You talk on the phone like you're five years old, you text alot because you know you couldn't say it in person, and you take pictures with each other to show off your relationship on facebook, and at school you flirt in the halls, talk occasionally, and go to each other's sporting events. It's all a never ending cycle. One that I haven't experience in quite some time. But, college relationships on the other hand are much different. You don't have to worry about your parents coming in or walking down, you get to be by yourselves. It's an actual independent relationship, more grown up, and less like high school. You can help each other with class work, but most of all you can help each other live and learn. I know that being in college, there will be several pathways I can take. Being in a committed relationship then, I know that I will choose a pathway in my best interest to where I see myself ten years from then. If I can honestly see myself with the same person, then I'll choose the path most closely related to them. I guess I've just realized that I know there's a rare chance I'll be together with somebody I've met in high school. There's a better chance, however, that I'll end up with the person I date in college. Because college relationships are one step closer to marriage. You're older, more experienced, better at having relationships then than I am now. I'm excited to see what the college life has in store for me, but even more excited for what the college atmosphere has in store for my relationship status. Maybe Tyler and I will end up together. I know how I feel now about him but what if it changes? It hasn't in a year, but what about another year or two. Maybe we'll still talk, be friends, or maybe, just maybe, we will be in a relationship. A committed one and in many many years to come maybe he'll be awaiting me at the end of the aisle, as my father lets go, and as he takes my hands, he says I do. And then we live, happily ever after in love.