In with the Old, Out with the New

"Out with the old, in with new."

It's a classical saying with classical meaning. When things or people get too old or boring, broken or too much to handle, you simply rid of them and bring new in. I've lived by this quote in my life. I change alot. I change my friends, my wardrobe, my room, even my hair. It's always been okay for me to get rid of old things and opt for new ones because eventually the old just keeps getting older and the plasticity of new objects makes you want them even more, or at least that's the way it is for me. Living by this quote has made me realize also that the world in itself is constantly changing and that newer ideas, newer versions, newer gadgets approach the market everyday. No one's happy with their 32 inch TV because the neighbors have a52 inch TV. The iTouch isn't enough when there's the iPhone. It's like no matter what you do, you're never going to have all the latest and greatest, because the latest greatest becomes the oldest and outdated in a matter of minutes. I've never fully lived in style, but I've kept up with fashion trends and whenever something no longer fits the attire and look I want to pull off, I get rid of it and end up wasting $20 on a shirt I thought I NEEDED when in reality, it was good for a couple weeks if that. My mom made a New Years resolution for her, my dad, and I to write down each time we make a purchase listing what it was and how much we spent. I thought the idea was ludacris, why did I of all people need to keep track of my money? It seemed ridiculous to me and I thought she was trying to accuse me of overusing my money. I was proven wrong. As much as I hate to admit it, when I write down that stuff it reminds me of what a waste it is. I spend so much money on food and little things and half of it isn't even a belonging I still have. I've realized money is my source of happiness. Eating out is my source of happiness. And buying new clothes or new shoes is my source of happiness and that's just not okay anymore. My happiness should come from the people in my life. My job, my career, my hobbies, my everything and I can't even believe I've let that slip away. I've changed alot this past year, spending too much time and money on things that should be of little importance to me. I've realized alot of this and decided that I do need to change. But not newly, but rather back to the old. It's synonymous with the saying In with the New out with the old, but I've rearranged it to:

"In With the Old, Out with the New"

It's about becoming myself again. Becoming the person I used to be. The one that loved her family dearly, played with her sisters, rarely fought, and always gave. I want to change who I am. Not because I am not okay with who I am, but because I miss the way I once was. That's why I've decided to dye my hair back to its orginal color: blonde. It makes my feel more like myself and it reminds me of who I want to become again. I know it won't be easy to just switch it back. It's going to take a hair appointment, some money, and some courage as I have gotten used to the brown color. But when the roots match up, it will make me feel so much better. Not only that, but it will make me more whole of a person. Imagine that, me talking about some physical attribute I wish to change. Sometimes I feel like one of those fake Barbie dolls. The ones that I hate, despise, and truly loathe for all of the fake things that make up a fake person and yet I'm changing me. But not me as a person, just me as me to become more me. Okay, maybe a bit too much usage of me, but it's what has to be done to change. I've also realized that changing is what makes this world run. While sometimes change can be in negative ways like never thinking you have enough money or good enough material objects, change can also be positive. Take for example, Haiti, who has just been hit by a massive earthquake. People from all over the world are pitching in to help. Instead of taking their money and spending it on vacations, new clothes, or new shoes they've used it to help the people rebuild. It's inspiring to know the whole world has got your back in time of need and it makes me feel like the world is a closely knit family, one that I hope to enjoy for many years to come. And with that, I feel safer in saying that change is change both good and bad. You can either learn to live or live to learn with yourself. And that's what I need to do. Live and learn and accept the changes in my life.