College Relationships

I'm not an expert on relationships. I don't have the best advice, can't tell you what to do during certain situations, or even tell you about the best date I've had. I don't have the experience, first off. And second off, I've been in like one serious relationship my entire life and I swore I was in love and that's about it. You know those first true high school relationships, yeah that's exactly what mine was. But; like all high school relationships those things come to an end and they're definitely not your happily ever after. I've heard better things about what's to come for my future relationships in college. They're more laid back, they're more fun, and they're longer lasting, or so I've heard. It's good to know that there are better results in future relationships, which is why I've chosen to write about them. One of my best friends my sophomore year of high school was a senior at our school last year. His name was Tyler Auman and it just so happens that we had somewhat of a relationship to our friendship. We both liked each other and we both knew it but we never acted on our feelings. As a result, I allowed Tyler to go off to college without experiencing what a relationship could be like with him and now that he's gone, I regret everyday I didn't stand up for the way I felt and just went for it because we really could have been something. I went to prom with Tyler last year and I had a blast. Over the summer, we somewhat drifted apart but we texted alot and stayed in touch. I visited him one last time before he left for college during the month of August. I brought him a framed picture of us from prom and wrote him a note too. I told him how much I loved him and how much I already missed him and that I promised, no matter the distance, we would stay close friends. When Ty and I began to say our goodbyes, there wasn't words to describe how sad the atmosphere was. We both knew how one another felt. We've talked about it several times and he knows that I have liked him and likewise, I knew the same. What hurt the most though, was that we did nothing about it. While we could have enjoyed the summer together, we wasted it on ourselves. While we could have been growing even closer, we allowed ourselves to drift apart. And while we knew we loved eachother, we didn't act upon it. So, that day of saying goodbye was extremely hurtful for both of us, especially when I was finally able to tell him how I felt. And when I did, it felt even worse because he told me how he felt too and practically matched. I know I should've been happy, but at the same time Icouldn't help but to cry. So, I did. After I left Tyler's house that day, I came home and cried. I cried because of what I had missed out on, I cried because of how I felt, and I cried because I didn't want to let go. Tyler had been my best friend, he was the one I always looked to for advice or just someone to talk to. And I never realized what he meant to me. I guess as the saying goes:

"You don't know what you got, til it's gone."

Fits my situation perfectly. I guess I really didn't know what I had, but now that he's away, I do. Anyways, me and Tyler still talk all the time. We're still as close as ever and we're more mature then we were. We both know that our feelings haven't changed. That I still love him, and that he still loves me but for the time being it just won't work out. He lives in Iowa City, that's thirty minutes away and when you think about it feels like forever away. I know that it wouldn't work out for the time being, and I don't want to risk what hopefully will be on trying to make it work on what could be right now so that's why we've decided to put off having a relationship until I enter college too. Because I want to go the University of Iowa like he does, it'll be alot easier to just wait until then. Because it's in two years maybe things will have changed. Either way, I know that being in college and having a relationship is going to be different than having a high school relationship. In high school, you spend your time at eachother's houses, in your basements, watching movies with your parents upstairs, maybe kissing, juvenile stuff really. You talk on the phone like you're five years old, you text alot because you know you couldn't say it in person, and you take pictures with each other to show off your relationship on facebook, and at school you flirt in the halls, talk occasionally, and go to each other's sporting events. It's all a never ending cycle. One that I haven't experience in quite some time. But, college relationships on the other hand are much different. You don't have to worry about your parents coming in or walking down, you get to be by yourselves. It's an actual independent relationship, more grown up, and less like high school. You can help each other with class work, but most of all you can help each other live and learn. I know that being in college, there will be several pathways I can take. Being in a committed relationship then, I know that I will choose a pathway in my best interest to where I see myself ten years from then. If I can honestly see myself with the same person, then I'll choose the path most closely related to them. I guess I've just realized that I know there's a rare chance I'll be together with somebody I've met in high school. There's a better chance, however, that I'll end up with the person I date in college. Because college relationships are one step closer to marriage. You're older, more experienced, better at having relationships then than I am now. I'm excited to see what the college life has in store for me, but even more excited for what the college atmosphere has in store for my relationship status. Maybe Tyler and I will end up together. I know how I feel now about him but what if it changes? It hasn't in a year, but what about another year or two. Maybe we'll still talk, be friends, or maybe, just maybe, we will be in a relationship. A committed one and in many many years to come maybe he'll be awaiting me at the end of the aisle, as my father lets go, and as he takes my hands, he says I do. And then we live, happily ever after in love.