Quest

This past weekend I went on a two day church leadership retreat for the first time as a leader and not a candidate. It felt awesome to be the head honcho for once and to be able to sit on the comfy chairs in the library. But most of all, my weekend was a perfect, much-needed get-a-way from the everyday hustle and bustle of life and it made me realize how much faith I've been lacking in my life. On Friday, we started out the night by having a team prayer and then doing some team bonding by chilling out, playing board games, and loading up on snacks and pop. It was good to get to know the people on my team many whom were old faces but some that were new. It was also good hearing the evening prayer and feeling as excited as I was about the weekend. The next morning we got up and ate some Panera and got ready for the day. I practiced giving my talk a couple times and it went well. Then, the kids (or candidates as they're referred to) began showing up. We got them situated in their rooms and then to the library so we could begin the wonderful weekend. We started out with some really inspiring, touching talks and then we split up into small groups where a couple team members got a little one-on-one time with a couple of the kids. My small group was pretty rocking and eventually the kids really opened up to one another. It felt good to hear what others had to say and to hear that I was not alone in some of the feelings I've been having but I think the best part of my weekend was giving my talk and really getting some positive feedback. I gave my talk about my family and how through them I have become me. I talked about what each of them does for me and what each of them is and how they have given me the characteristics that together create who I am today. I also talked about the struggles I have with having an alcoholic father and an alcohol brother, both with whom I find hard to love but support and cherish anyways. After, a girl approached me and let me know her father was also alcoholic and that she knew what I was feeling and she started telling me her story too. It was inspiring to know that she had enough courage to come talk to me, because I know when I had gone on the retreat the last couple years I was always somewhat shy. The girl and I bonded and from that moment on, I knew I'd have a good weekend. Saturday night we had reconciliation and I got to talk to one of the coolest pastors I've ever met. He easily understood me and he gave me awesome advice, most of which consisted of:

"You are doing just fine. It may seem like a boy or a game or something means the world to you, but in reality you're just growing up. It's a part of life. You'll win some, you'll lose some. But overall, those who are meant to be in your life will stay and those who aren't will vanish. As for you, you're normal. You're average. And that, that is perfectly okay. The lord loves you."

He really got to my level, he used things that could relate to me and he made me laugh. I hope to be able to speak with him again and potentially even go to him for reconciliation services. After that, was the dance which I ended up having a blast at. I let it all go and hardcore rocked out to just about every song under the sun. I didn't even care if I looked half way retarded or goofy or anything, I just kept enjoying myself and being around the other team members and candidates. After that, going back to our rooms I got to know alot of the candidates in my room on personal levels and I met alot of new people, many of which I call friends now. But I think what was the best is that we had an in-depth conversation on faith and how it affects our lives. I know being a teenager I often lose sight of my faith in God because it never feels like he's there. The girls knew what I was talking about and we talked about how we could pray more and if we tried hard enough we could really see the influence God was making on our lives. He was teaching us about growing up and lettting ourselves learn and it felt good to finally open up about my faith and be able to share it with very supporting girls. The next morning, we had some more bonding time with our small groups and the large group as a whole, we had mass, and then it was time to say our goodbyes. After all the candidates left, the team met for a little feedback and criticism time and then it was also our time to say our goodbyes. It was sad because I felt like alot of the people I met had become my best friends. Along with a lot of phone numbers, I got alot of hugs and I'll miss yous, and we need to hang outs. But I also got one of the most positive experiences of my life: feeling the presence of God. I know now that he's there. I may not see him, but he is present in my life forever and for always and I know now that he's always been and will continue to be a big influence on my life. I also learned that it doesn't matter what school you go to, who your friends are, or what you wear, faith is for everyone. I feel like I have a new family when I have faith in my life and it's one of the best feelings in the world. I sincerely hope next year I get elected again to go on Quest and hopefully make more memories and strengthen my relationship with God.