In Maturing..

It's my junior year of high school and I can't wait to get out! I know when I'm much older and more mature with my life I'll look back on my high school years and miss them dearly but right now its as if high school will never end! Sure, having friends and living life is great but the homework is about as much as I can bare. I don't like it all and I just want to live on my own. I love my family dearly but sometimes they drive me up the wall and I really need some personal space. With that in mind, I cannot stop thinking about COLLEGE :):):) I'm so excited because in just two years I'll be living it up having the time of my life and starting out my career in medicine. Sounds simple enough right? Ha I wish. Now you may think I'm a bit college crazed for thinking about it this far away but with my boyfriend being a senior and going off to college just next year I've begun thinking about college too. Plus, I have a ton of friends that are seniors that go to my school and it seems like the end of the year is all that's on their mind. They've been through plenty standardized tests, essays, and applications and many of them are still in the application process and as much as they don't like it, they're gonna be really excited! Recently, I wrote an essay for my AP Lang class in which I talked about my most embarrassing moment in front of all the seniors as a freshman. It was only then I realized I'm gonna be a senior next year. One more year, and I will finally be at the top of the food chain. I can sit on the senior bench, I can yell my heart out at basketball and football games, I can tell stupid freshman to move out of the way, and I can leave class early simply because I'm a senior. When I think about it, senior year really ISN'T going to be a breeze for me. I take a rigorous course load this year, with three college level courses, and next year I will be taking five. I think I've developed a good method of note taking and studying that will benefit me in college. And something new that I've just tried this year has really been working for me and that is: listening to classical music while I do my homework. It has helped me retain alot of information and therefore do better on my tests and I plan to stick with this for a while. Since I'm all in the College mood, I guess I'd better talk how I got to wear I am and how I plan on getting where I want to go. As a sixth grader, I began involving myself in as many activities as possible. Sports, academics, clubs, retreats, you name it I did it. I kept myself busy throughout all of my middle school years and practically ran the school my eighth grade year, being best friends with all of the counselors and having a close relationship with my principal. I was praised for lots of things, for my leadership, my grades, my willingness to learn, my involvement, everything I never thought it'd be different in high school but guess what? It was. Not only was I not as involved, but my grades were not as high as I had hoped. Sure, I still got A's but it was harder. I actually had to WORK for them and it sucked because I really wasn't used to it. I got better at studying, better at work ethic, and better at keeping up with my school work and allowed myself some time for school cheerleading. But I'll admit: I was lazy. I rarely ever did anything, always came home right after school, and never really had as big of an involvement in my school and take shame in that. My sophomore year I started becoming more involved. I did more clubs, despite the fact that I was scared I wouldn't fit in or laughed at, but did them anyways and actually made some great friends from it. I took some harder classes that year, and even was involved in Student Government and I did something more with my time. I began volunteering at the hospital and joined a competitive cheerleading team. I've realized one thing: I'm happier when I'm busier. When I'm bored, I generally eat. I know, it's a bad habit but it's what I do because I can't ever decide something meaningful to do. Now that I'm more involved, I do less of being bored, and more of being involved. My junior year has gone pretty well thus far. It's great being on the Varsity cheerleading team and cheering at the big games and taking hard classes I know will benefit me in the long run. I hope to do more things with my high school career and see where that I will take me. I plan on attending the University of Iowa and studying to become a pediatrician and help kids around the world. I don't know where I want to live, but I know I will want to be relatively close to my family. As for now, I'm just living my life as best I can and doing what I think is right. I'm becoming more mature, more of an adult ,and for me that is making me a truly happy girl.

In Preparation

So, this weekend we have a cheerleading competition: AGAIN. I know, I know, they're becoming back to back but after this one we don't have one til December 5th I do believe and I'm pretty pumped about the little break because lately practices have been up the wall hard! We've had to do like a million run throughs and tons of conditioning at each. Run throughs, by the way, are like competing five times in a row. You do everything in the routine full out: jumps, stunts, tumbling, cheer, and dance and its all to your routine music only you don't have your uniform on or your hair done. And, you have to do it repetitively. It's quite the work out if I do say so myself and that is why I generally wear shorts and t shirts to practice. I'm bringing this up because it's getting close to Winter and its been pretty chilly and I've been parading around in shorts. Why? Because they'r e comfy, they're easy to put on, and they allow my legs some breathing room as opposed to tight jeans. I have generally warm blood I think too, because I find myself always chilling out in shorts whether it be rain or shine. Anyways, this competition this week is specifically for Iowa Elite to show case our what I call, greatness! This competition is hosted by us at Jefferson High School and it's called "Battle for the Behemoth." Sounds pretty ancient right? It's this awesome, crazy competition we have and grand champs get a 6 FOOT TROPHY! It's massive and last year we didn't even get to take it home, our competitors Iowa All Stars did. This year, it's time to show 'em whose boss. All seven of our Iowa Elite teams are competing and there will be plenty of competition there. It sucks though because we will be performing on dead floor as opposed to spring floor. This basically means that were competing on mats without springs underneath them which is a standard cheerleading floor and it takes alot more out of you. It'll be okay though. The only thing I'm worried about is our new cheer. Today, we revamped our cheer to make it harder and more appealing to the eye. In the middle there is a stunt that I'm involved in with a girl who is not used to being the flyer (person in the air) and so she's not as good as she necessarily could be. Because of this, we had to practice it a bunch of times and we still didn't get it to perfection by the end of practice and I can't even go to practice on Wednesday because we have a football game in Bettendorf. I'm not that utterly thrilled over having to drive a couple hours to a football game we may quite possibly lose for a team that has none the less not impressed me this entire season. It's hard to cheer on guys who don't have the guts or the spirit that they should. The sad thing is we could be good this year if we really set out to do so, but our heads are in the wrong place and we just can't improve. It's whatever, football cheerleading is almost over and then I'll have plenty of time on my hands, before basketball season cheerleading starts that is. But anyways, for this particular competition we get to straighten our hair and that is a definite delicacy for us because usually we have to curl it. The advantage and difference: straightening your hair takes less time (almost an hour difference) and it looks cleaner and better. Everybody on our team agrees it will be much easier and our coach said if it looks nice enough than we can start doing it that way for the rest of the season. YAAY! One thing about the competition is that it's at my boyfriends school so its basically a requirement that he comes! I'm pretty pumped you see were kind of a new couple and I'm really nervous about performing in front of him. Stupid I know but you can't blame a girl for wanting to impress. We also get awesome t shirts for this competition and we have the ice cream truck coming, along with a bouncy cage! Technically it's for the little kids, but the bigger ones definitely get a kick out of it too. So my feelings are pretty good about this competition. I'm a little nervous for the performance but the day should be pretty fun! Plus it's on Sunday so we get to miss out on a practice. YAHOO :)

More Meds Please!

As we all know, Flu season is in full swing and whether it be the seasonal flu or god forbid must I say, swine flu we must stay protected by whatever means necessary. The biggest and best solution to prevent us all from getting sick is by getting a vaccination. A vaccination is like giving us a dose of the actual disease so that our immune systems can react to it and help fight it off. By having it once, we therefore are less susceptible to getting the disease, if ever again. There has been recent news about shortage in swine flu vaccinations, which is true. All over the world, people are getting sick faster then the rate of vaccinations being passed out. It's unfair for younger children, ranging from age 6 months to 24 years, which are the most likely to catch it. Last weekend, at the Iowa State Fair, there were over 2000 vaccinations given out in less then four hours to kids who came. But dosages like these don't come all the time. On this morning's edition of the news, it stated that over 900 people have died from the flu, 43 of them being children. It's like a pandemic and eventually it will sweep the nation. Family doctors have been getting small dosages and they often charge a hefty package for one because they're so limited. Pediatricians must be having a hard time! A good feature though, is that they're beginning to have clinics for people so that they can all come and get vaccinated. But we still need more medicine! So get on it government! The vaccination is the smartest idea for parents who don't want their kids missing school. That's another bad thing about flu season. Being sick for the first two days of school this week I realized just how hard it is to miss a day. To miss a day of school, with my schedule, is like missing a week at work. There was so much make-up work for me to do I'm still getting caught up now and trust me, it's not easy. For so many other students, I can only imagine. Those that have been sick for a week or so must be literally swamped! Plus, teachers have got to be feeling the heat. In some of my classes, up to 10 people are gone everyday, trying to teach something new is somewhat stupid because you're going to have to teach all the sick people when they get back anyways. For me, these past couple days back at school have been relatively easy simply because alot of the teachers refuse to learn new and instead give us work time to re-learn or further explore the old and I'm A-okay with that. There's a huge defining factor of swine flu and it is this: you will be sick for a couple days (bad days) and then be okay for a couple days (good days) and then you go BACK to having bad days and become sick all over again! That's what I fear most about this whole thing. I'd prefer to stay healthy. My best advice for doing so: drink lots of fluids. Water is best, and things with Vitamin C like orange juice for coughs. Take some ibuprofen for headaches, cough drops for your cold, and wash your hands or use hand sanitizer alot. And STAY AWAY FROM THE SICKIES! This thing is pretty contagious so be careful, you know your boundaries and if your feeling sick: please stay home. Feel better soon world!!

Swine is Mine

So this weekend has been quite eventful. As I told you, we had a cheerleading competition in Peoria, Illinois this weekend for my competitive cheerleading team Iowa Elite. This is one of the biggest competitions that we go to and let me tell you, it sure was big. First off, I'll tell you a little history of my week so you'll know exactly what I'm feeling like. Wednesday I had the PSAT at the KTOS center and it was relatively easy. I got back to school for the last two classes and had a ton of make up work. Then, I had practice that night and I was not feeling like working out for two hours but I did so anyways. On Thursday, I had to go to sign making after school til six and then come home and get ready to go out to dinner with my, well, as of Thursday, my boyfriend. It was his birthday and so of course I had to look nice so I didn't spend any time on my homework until I got home at 10. I was up until midnight or so and then couldn't fall asleep and had to wake up at 6 to go in for extra help with my chemistry teacher. Then, I had a game Friday night and was up until 11:30 and had to wake up at four so my mother could curl my hair for the competition. I had officially hit rock bottom and I was not excited at all to be going to the gym to lie on an uncomfortable bus full of loud cheerleaders. Least to say, I got no sleep what so ever. When we got there, we immediately stretched, warmed up, and then we performed and were done by 11. We waited maybe twenty minutes til they started awards and guess what? WE TOOK FIRST :):):) All my icky feelings of getting up early, running low on sleep, and not having good food to eat went away temporarily but now was the hard part. We had competed in Session 1 of the competition and there was still 3 left that we had to sit through before our youth team came and performed and we had to be there until their awards at six. By the way, our all girl team which competed in Session 1 also was originally announced as third place but the judges so wrongfully switched first and third and instead all girl got FIRST PLACE ALSO!! Our coaches were so happy the rest of the day and our youth team placed 3rd out of 14 so it was a really good day!!! Anyways, we sat in the stands for a couple hours, unable to move, unable to talk, just wanting to go home. It was good team bonding I'd say and then we all went to the warm-up gym and that's where things went wrong. H1N1 has been going around this country like wild fire and recently five girls on our team were diagnosed. Because the competition was so big they refused to miss it and came and guess what? They were exposed to ALL of us ALL day. Everyone on the team is officially sick with something. I have a temperature of 103 and a horrible cough and worse, my body is so sore. All the symptoms of swine flu. You know I really don't feel like missing school for a week because I know that the make up work would be unbearable but at the same time I need to get better. You know this feels worse than the flu, I feel like I can't breathe and I've been stuck in my house all day. I've caught up on watching some really good movies and this may be good for weight loss cause I haven't eaten since yesterday at noon. I know for sure I wont be going to school tomorrow (ugh) and probably not Tuesday either. I hope to God that it doesn't get to the point where I have to go to the hospital but if it does I'd be sure to let you know. As for now, I'm gonna go take some ibuprofen (which I have been on for the last 24 hours) and try to get some sleep. My electric blanket really comes in handy right now cause I have the worst case of the chills. As for the Swine flu here are the symptoms: fever, headache, cough, trouble breathing, and body aches. Check, check, check, check, and CHECK!

So Bright!

In my future, I hope to become a pediatrician. What is that might you ask? Well, it's a doctor that deals specifically with kids. I have always had close relationships with my two youngest siblings since the day they were born. Like a protective mother, I protect them with my life. I am careful with them and I treat them as if they were my own kids. I always held them when they cried, laughed with them, and tried to make their cute little faces smile because to me, that means the world. I know that helping kids is something that I want to do because I love them. I have had so much experience with babysitting that it seems inevitable. I know that medical school is going to be tough, but I have a very good work ethic. I work hard in school to get good grades and I work hard in my household to help improve my family. I know that I want to make something of myself, I want to change someone's life, and if I can make just one kids day better, I will know that I have been successful. Now that you know what I want to do with my life, I guess I better tell you how I plan to get there. Pediatrics is not an easy road by ANY means. You have to go to college and THEN go to medical school THEN residency and THEN you can either get a job or try and make it on your own. I plan to attend the University of Iowa for my first four years, and possibly go to Minnesota for my medical years, I want to do my residency at a big name hospital there because they are one of the largest hospitals in the United States and therefore I would get a lot of good experience. As much as I love Cedar Rapids, I don't know if I want to stay here for the rest of my life. My family has lived here since the day I was born, I've grown up here, but I've also experienced homely feelings in other states, in other towns, in other cities, and I know that someday I will get along just fine in whatever environment or place I choose to live. Kids really do make the world go round, without the previous generations how would we have progressed to the one were currently living in? I hope to continue the legacy that our ancestors have created for us, and start new generations for the world to come so that I know when I die, the future of the world is very bright.

No More Chances

I thought I'd start out my next post in the right direction, preferably talking about my future aspirations of being a pediatrician, my college goals, my field of interest, and the newest medical technology. Instead, I've decided to talk, yet again, about my father simply because today I receieved four more calls, 2 voicemails, and 11 texts. Let me explain..

So last night my dad called me about twice and left me a voicemail asking me to please call him back and that he loved me, of course I had no intentions of responding. He called once more last night and once again this morning. I didn't answer. Then while I was at work he texted me asking if I was working, I decided (for the pure hell of it) to respond and our text conversation went on like this:

Me: yes, why?
Him: Call me after work?
Me: Maybe
Him: Please don't tell me you still don't wanna see me
Me: It's not like much has changed since the last time I talked to you
Him: Fine do what you want, I'm not begging my own daughter..
Me: And I'm not asking much from my father..
Him: K
(No response, 2 hour break)
Him: I'm going to treatment on the 19th in IC for 3 weeks, hope to see you before then
Me: You won't

Now, you may think it was a bit harsh but I'm doing it in both of our best interests. If I let him back into my life yet again, before he gets through treatment, before he's made it past a couple months, what good is it gonna do when he drinks again? For me, I'll be heartbroken yet again, and he, well, he just won't have anything more to do then mope around and feel sorry for himself. Pathetic. I've decided not to talk to him until after treatment. I can't help but feel like he's really changed this time..just like I always do. But then again, it's like my second nature to know he'll mess it up. I guess this time it's truely in God's hands and I pray for his sake, that he means it this time. I don't know how many more lives he'll get. He's had over nine and I don't think God gives out much more then that. I'm praying for him.

A Touchy Subject

A typical day at school yesterday, coming home to get some homework done before cheer practice, and heading to the boyfriends house. It seemed just like every other normal Wednesday until my mom brought in the mail and handed me a letter. Being a teen, I'm not usually contacted via mail but usually through text or phone call. Least to say, I was surprised. Even more surprised at the fact that I had received a letter from my father. Weird right? I guess I really haven't shared my history with my father, but that's because it's a prettty touch subject for me. First off, you need to know that the father I'm referring to is simply the person that brought me into this world, and that's about it. He is my biological father and my mother and him were never married. I guess you could say I was a bit of a "surprise" but my mother loved me from the moment she knew I was on the way. My father, on the other hand, he had a bit too much fun as a kid and inherited a disease that runs in the family: alcoholism and he was too worried about consuming as much alcohol he could so that he could continue to obtain a good drunkness throughout the entire day. I love my mother to death, but I must say I never saw what she saw in him. On the day of my birth, he promised he would stay sober and he did so for the first 6 months of my life. Considering I can't remember it, I'm going to hope it was pretty joyous. But after that, it was never the same for me or for my mom. She was finally smart enough to leave him when I turned one year, knowing that if she stayed we'd either end up in welfare or die. We moved into a smaller apartment and a couple years later, she remarried to my current stepfather whom I don't consider a stepfather, but an actual father figure. I don't have that awkward relationship like most do and I don't resent him for the fact that he "broke up" my parents, I'm happy that he saved us and I will eternally love him. But you probably want to know what happened to my father ? Well after living up the high life, he began living in the "Safe Place" a home downtown for those with addiction problems. He seemed on the right path, for a couple weeks perhaps, but he always has a tendency to be selfish. He began working for a car dealership and when he wouldn't make as much as he thought he could, which was way above anything he needed to be making. He'd give up, he'd drink, and he'd drive. He's lost his license over 5 times in his life for driving while intoxicated, and frankly has never stopped drinking.

Sometimes I swear my mother is a saint. He could be in jail for paying zero child support or for being publicly intoxicated all the time, but she let him live. He's a member of AA (Alcholics Anonymous) and for a couple months every so often he will get really involved, but it's never permanent. Something will go wrong whether it be: a girl, a job, or me and my mom, he always has some reason to begin drinking again. After he's hit rock bottom for the 12th time, he swears his life has changed, he'll invite me over to his current living quarters and sit me down to have dinner (usually some stuff off the dollar menu at McDonalds) and discuss him coming back into my life. The problem: he's never officially been there. All memories I have from my younger years that involve him usually involve crying. Some because he missed my birthday, some because he missed Christmas, or some because he wasn't in my life. I remember my mom telling me at a very young age that my father had a tendency to "get sick" and that I wasn't allowed to see him when it was this way. I never understood and always thought it was because she didn't want to see him herself. I now realize, what a good person she was for doing so and for making sure I didn't inherit the disease. Although, I do get tested and interviewed every year by an alcoholism study group for the University of Iowa. They usually interview me, ask me about my drinking (which is nonexistent), and then put these wires on my head and study my brain. The benefit for me is making almost $200 and then going to spend it at Coralridge. They doubt I'll grow up with the disease and believe me to be a normal, happy, healthy girl. All of which are generally true.
The letter from my dad was a sob story. The speech he gives me all the time when he swears he's done drinking and he's on the right path. It starts out with explaining his "legitimate" excuse on why he started, apologizing for not being in my life, and what actions he will be taking to improve our relationship. blah blah blah blah blah. To say the bare minimum, I'm done with it. And to be completely honest, I could care less if he's in my life or not. I've been through enough in my life with him, that sometimes it's just not worth it. I've lost all respect and trust I've ever had for him. I never thought I'd be able to hate someone I love so much, but it's happened. And I've realized I'm done, I'm moving on, a chapter in my life closed and for good this time so that I can be happy.

I-O-W-A IOWA ELITE!

I'd first like to note the fact that this post was finished and created on Saturday morning at 8 AM on 10/03/09, for odd reasons beyond my belief, it did not publish and was sitting in a draft in my blogging account which I found today when I logged on to do a blog for this week. So, I'd really hope this counts for last weeks and here was the post...

As I told you in the last post, I want to describe to you the world of competitive cheerleading, and trust me it's pretty broad. First off, I'd like to point out the difference between competitive and regular cheerleading. School cheerleaders are those who promote school spirit and pump up the crowd at large school games by yelling loudly, doing some jumps, and occasionally some stunting. Competitive cheerleading is a combined sport that involves the main aspects of cheerleading intensified. Competitive cheerleading is where a team of cheerleaders put together a 2 minute and 30 second routine that involves skillls based on their levels. They must have a cheer, a dance, varied stunts (these are the things where cheerleaders put people in the air), jumps, and tumbling (this is the flipping aspect). In a typical cheerleading competition, teams are pitted against each other based on their skill level. This being the hardest tricks they can throw. Teams who have more people on their team that can do more flips and harder, more complicated stunts are generally in the higher levels, whereas beginner teams that have less tumbling skills and easier stunts are placed in lower levels. The levels range anywhere from 1-8, they also include titles like Senior meaning the team is all of ages 11 or older, youth meaning they range from 7 to 11, and minis which range from 3-7. All of these have sub groups like all girl meaning every person on the team is a girl, Co-Ed meaning there are boys on the team, and Combo meaning the people on the team can range from any age. There are over 100 competitions in the USA each competitive season, which usually runs from August-March and there are over 1000 teams nationally that compete in these. The biggest competition is by far, Nationals, which are located in Orlando, Florida at the end of the competition season in March and attract the largest number of teams and is therefore broadcasted nationally. The best of the best compete here in a two day competition, pitted against their rivals, fighting for the first place trophy (which tend to be 6 ft tall) and most importantly the chance to own the title: best National team in their level and wear the famous all star championship jackets. It's a dream every team wishes to achieve each competition season but only few actually accomplish. Last year, my team, Iowa Elite, placed 4th for our all girl team and 2nd for our senior co-ed team and we hope to do better this year. I guess I kinda forgot to tell you about my nationally ranked team that I'm prouder then ever to be a member of for the past two years. Located on 6th Street in Cedar Rapids, Iowa near Hawkeye downs. This is the 7th year Iowa Elite has become a home to all of us cheerleaders and is currently the largest competitive team that Iowa has. Our colors are green, orange, black, and silver. We compete in over 10 competitions each season, traveling to Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and of course Florida. We have 7 teams: Tinys, Minis, Youth, Youth travel team, senior all girl, senior co-ed, and adult team. We have over 75 girls and about 10 coaches. The gym is always open for new members and we also have integrated tumbling practices and open gyms inside of our twice a week two hour practices for each team. We are very competitive, and we work hard in our practices. It makes us even prouder to wear our uniforms competition day, having our cheerleading friends and family surrounding us and cheering us on, and we all love each other very much. It's like a second home and second family for me and is a very big part of my life that I hope to share with the rest of you. Our cheer words are as follows and feel free to follow us to any of our competitions and follow along: IOWA ELITE, TAKING CHEER HIGHER! CHAMPIONS THATS RIGHT! WERE ON FIRE! I-O-WA!

Yet Again...

After discussing many topics with my current AP Lang teach Ayers (shout out) I think I've finally decided a broad enough topic that I can never possibly get bored. In this blog, I hope to give you an insight on me, my goals, my dreams, and my life. When I become older I hope to be a pediatrician. Why? Because I love kids. I have so much experience with babysitting, I have younger siblings so I babysit all the time, and have a million little baby cousins that are absolutely adorable. With that, I also love to take care of kids. Being a pediatrician is just that, helping little kids grow into young adults by being happy and healthy, and its what I aspire to be. After completing high school, I hope to attend the University of Iowa because I hear they have an awesome pre-med program that I would love to be involved in and I want to be close to home as I have a very close relationship with my family, all of whom live in Iowa. Within this topic, I'll talk about my experiences with volunteering at the hospital, but paying attention to confidentiality for various reasons. I hope to also entertain you with the events going on in my life: mostly competitions for competitive cheerleading. The count down is 17 days until our next competition: Jamfest. Quite possibly one of the largest cheerleading competitions in the United States, located in Peoria, Illinois. But before I will even begin to tell you about competitions, you should probably know a little bit about competitive cheerleading, which I plan to do tomorrow, I have other homework calling my name. Toodles for now!