Drunken Feet

This morning, I woke up to my father shaking me, telling me to get up and get ready to go. I rolled over to look at the clock and see that it was only 6:15, and yet I was waking up even though I wasn't going to school. I got up and out of bed, dazily brushed my teeth and combed my hair, threw on my comfortable clothes and headed for the car. It was 7:00 when we were officially on the road. This is only after my father and I stopped at IHOP for breakfast. One of my favorite parts of going on trips with him is that he never fails to do something fun for food and we always end up at a good place with good food and good conversation. But on the road, I attempted to finish all the homework I let slide last night in an attempt to get my mind off the inevitable: the whole reason we were on this trip. After two years, we arrived. The exit sign had the blue H on top, it made me shiver. We pulled in to the parking lot and began walking in. It look so sickly and bad, and I immediately had an upset stomach. We walk in, up to the second floor, and approach her. She's sitting there, almost in tears, looking worn out and fatigued. This was my grandmother and we were at the hospital for a cancer appointment she had. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer last year, it was a devestation to the entire family so it was more than bliss when she was in remission only five short months ago. But I guess, as the saying goes, happy times don't last forever. Sure enough, after we had assumed that all the bad stuff was out of her system, even more was there for the next appointment. This time, it was in her legs, her shins, and her tailbone. She was heartbroken as I'm sure you could imagine and so was the entire family. Today, she had a doctor's check up to see what the next steps were. Lately, she's been doing some chemotherapy, only not as much, because her body is becoming too weak for it. Before we got there, she had gotten some bloodwork done and when we arrived we went into the doctor's office and sat down to hear the results. In this small little room, with a bed much like a doctor's facility, was my father, me, my grandfather, and my grandmother. We all sat down as the doctor did some procedural stuff, checking her pulse and what not, and then it was time for the news. The doctor, Dr. Merchant, told us that the platelets in her body were low, meaning her immune system was very weak and it was possible that if she caught something she could be done for good. This was upsetting news for all of us but that wasn't even the worst of it. He asked her what her symptoms were prior to the results, and she had told him she was having much pain in her legs, had lots of hot and cold flashes with over 102 temperatures, and numbness in her feet. She said she felt like she was drunk and that it was an effort to get up and put one foot in front of the other. The doctor told us later that these symptoms were signs of the cancer he had expected all along only this cancer spread to her brain and even the strongest chemo could not help her. This is when he began to tell us that it was better to simply consider the quality of life, not the quantity. He told her that the cancer was advancing quickly and that her body was too weak for more chemotherapy. They could still do it, but he didn't know how much it would do for her. He told her that she should enjoy the days because eventually, there weren't going to be many left. And just like that, he left the room. It was heartbreak. There was silence in the room and everybody looked like there had been a large electric shock. We all began tearful, we hugged my grandmother, this woman once so full of life and now so little left to her. It was a sad experience, one that I will never forgot. My grandfather is probably the worst. He is so discombobulated, I don't know what he's going to do. I'm praying for both of them. Today, was a sad sad day for the Rolfes family. Please Grandma Edie in your prayers...


For more information on cancer, visit:

www.cancersucks.org